—
Let me ask you a basic question. What are you saying to yourself right now?
Are the words which are flowing through your mind ones which inspire you, or do they lead you to want to beat yourself up?
Ah, the magical “self-talk syndrome” keeps many people sabotaged in their lives and relationships, doesn’t it?
Now, there are many people who have totally mastered the fine art of not talking down to themselves. They have definitely learned what positive, affirming statements help spur them far beyond any situation.
It’s easy to get really caught up in the trap of feeling “less than” or defeated when another bill, another collector, another needy friend calls, or simply being caught up in your daily drama.
Too many people (raising my hand here in transparency) can get caught up in being awfully difficult on themselves. Sure, they are surrounded by successful people who definitely want to see them succeed in whatever they desire to do.
Yet letting go of those comfortable, nagging mindsets are quite difficult to do. They are easy to fall back into all the time. Consider the starving artist, the struggling 19-now-53-year-old person, or the less-than-victorious soul.
***
Words, words, words…they either boost us up or tear us down. The messages of a lifetime roll through like a thunderstorm splashing its lightning and thunder across a West Texas mountainside. There has to be an internal system interrupt when this starts.
The amount of positive, affirming language one uses can deflect the negative, beat-me-up words which fill people’s minds and hearts. Sure, it’s enough to point fingers at media and advertisers. Heck, let’s toss in the always-seductive social media platforms. Add a mix of the big three no-no subject matters of religion, politics, and sex and – well – there you go.
A whole universe is off to the races. Some are belittled; some are raised up as prime examples of what success is meant to be.
The words which we use on ourselves are far tougher than the ones others would even say to us. I’m convinced that I am my own worst enemy, and that’s led to evictions, late bills, destroyed relationships, loss of loves (one which deeply hurts still to this day), and even those pesky jobs.
Have changes been made in my internal dialogue? Of course! Heck, I’m able to write something coherent here without going off the rails. Plus, I feel positive that what I am offering here will help someone out in the long run.
See, I’m doing my best to get through this world by helping others. That’s how the big cycle of life happens. We’re all trying to reach the “next pinnacle” or “golden chariot” every day.
Sometimes, if we look at the simpler, measurable results of our lives, then we’ll be able to actually see this matters a lot more than being caught up in constant mind games. The mind games are somewhat caused by what you and I say to ourselves.
***
Now that’s not to say our environmental surroundings don’t have an effect at all. That’s not the case. Many people grow up in horrid conditions, worse than I could even imagine. They have found a way through the muck and mire to rise above and succeed.
They changed their inner dialogue and kept at it. Much like going to the gym, it is not a one-day-fixes-everything type of activity. It is a constant battle between the tugs of past decisions and language to fend off what actually could be a positive shift in your life.
That’s why I say it is important to be careful with the words you use on yourself. A gentler, kinder approach can open new doors of opportunity. The people you really desire to have in your life will pick up on whatever new energy or vibe is coming off of you.
When your inner language gets too heavy, then let me offer three simple things to do:
- Listen to what you are telling yourself.
- Be able to see what is real and what is not.
- Gravitate toward what is positive.
Of course, those three little steps sound simple. Put them to the test in the middle of an ear-splitting brain battle – one side saying “you stink” against another saying “you got this” – and see if you can stand in the midst of the flying word bullets.
Give it your best shot. Keep your inner dialogue as peaceful as possible. Learn what good qualities you do carry within yourself. Embrace them all.
Yes, you do have the power within you to change your language and words. Take hold of it today, tomorrow, and for the rest of your life.
—
This article previously appeared on Medium.
Photo: Pixabay