1. Everybody loves Aaron Rodgers.
2. Our future national anthem.
3. A hangover cure that makes me want to have a hangover.
4. What the hell was Tim Allen doing with that much cocaine?
5. Goats > monkeys.
6. What? They don’t know any better. They’re … aliens.
7. Headline captures feelings of Patriots fans across the country.
8. R.I.P. capitalism?
9. I’m pretty sure I don’t even know 1,022 words.