Why is it in the beginning of a relationship the romance just seems to flow effortlessly? When things are new there is an element of mystery and intrigue. As we get to know each other better, things can become a little mundane and it’s easy to get stuck in a rut. Whether this has already happened in your relationship or you want to prevent it from happening here are some common mistakes that couples make and suggestions to make a shift toward the positive.
1. Life becomes predictable – When you do the same thing every Friday night, your relationship may be a little stale. If the only time you receive-give-do something special for your partner is on birthdays and holidays this may be another sign your relationship is in a rut. Mystery and surprise in relationship ignites passion, and who doesn’t want that in their romantic life? When you plan something special like a date night or giving a thoughtful gift to your partner unexpectedly this sends a very clear message that you were thinking about them. This speaks volumes about your dedication and commitment to them and your relationship. So be sure to plan a special adventure or write that heartfelt notecard just because.
2. You wait until you’re ready for bed to get frisky – It’s Saturday night, you went out mini golfing and then had a great romantic dinner with a bottle of wine. Maybe you even made out in the Uber on the way home. You get home and prepare for your romantic encounter. Change your clothes brush your teeth, the usual drill. As you both sink into bed you realize how exhausted you both are and that bottle of wine didn’t help. To top it off you ate so much you feel like a stuffed pig. So you kiss goodnight and promise to do things differently tomorrow. It’s so easy to get stuck in this routine. So be sure to mix it up a little bit. Before you head out to dinner slip into something sexy and light some candles before you get dressed up for your date. Another great option is first thing in the morning. A great way to start your day is to gently start caressing your partner before they wake. One thing will lead to another and don’t worry about your dinosaur breath.
3. You stop talking to each other – Well of course you talk, you’re in relationship, but what do you talk about? Remember in the beginning you couldn’t get enough of your partner. You knew nothing about them so you wanted to know every little detail, but now you’ve heard the story a thousand times so what now? This is where a couple will either get bored and stop growing which will have fatal consequences to the relationship or you will start growing together. You will go deeper into the relationship and really get to know each other by asking better questions. Questions that really matter. You’re genuinely interested in your partner and they in you. Communication is so important. We are not mind readers and so many issues can be eliminated when we share what’s on our heart and in our minds. Be vulnerable with your partner. If you can’t be with them, then who?
Previously published here and reprinted with the author’s permission.
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