TASK #22: YOUNG LOVE
“It is better to have loved and lost than never to have lost at all.” Samuel Butler
It is my supposition, strongly-held, that men are WAY more romantic than women. Women feign romance, but are infinitely more calculating. Don’t take that as a slur, ladies–it’s a compliment. Male ardor has led to more bloodshed and agony than all the wars combined, and what we lack in self-control we more than make up for in passion, and that is our greatest weakness–and strength.
Men LOVE love. We love with a deep, powerful passion that engulfs us. And when we fall in love, we leap into the abyss without wondering where or when we will land.
Needless to say, we are prone to fall in love. And more than once in our lifetime. I figure that a grown adult male–over 40–will have fallen in love–real love, not infatuation, at least three times.
What do I mean by falling in love? You know what I mean. And if you don’t, you’ve never fallen in love.
Of those three loves, one was a total mistake–a psycho who was so sexually thrilling but so nutty that the memory of her causes involuntary shuddering; one is probably lying next to you now, the mother of your children, the woman you vowed to love…
That leaves one OTHER love–the one you never talk about. Especially with your wife. This other love may have been someone you sat behind in 5the grade, or someone who had went out with your best friend, but it was probably someone you dated and you fell in love with, then she dumped you for someone else, or because she didn’t love you the way you loved her, or because she decided that other women were better life mates.
Whatever the reason, you carry an olympic-sized torch for her. I’m not saying that you think about her every day…as a matter of course, she may rarely come to mind, but when she does you feel a stirring in your heart, and the hair on the back of your neck stands at attention, and some moment that you spent with her comes roaring back to you in vivid detail, and once more you are hooked. And every once in while, when you least expect it, you think about her.
And in a way that’s wonderful.
Go to a supermarket. Buy a card for that woman you never talk about. One of those cards that has a romantic picture on the outside but nothing inside (these are usually more expensive than the cards that have some hokey sentiment written inside which makes no sense, but hell, go for it). Bring the card home and open it up and write down everything that you loved about that woman. Try to articulate the feelings you have when you think about her.
Then close the card, put it in its envelope, seal it and put it in your notebook.
Photo by seth capitulo