TASK #22: YOUNG LOVE
“It is better to have loved and lost than never to have lost at all.” Samuel Butler
It is my supposition, strongly-held, that men are WAY more romantic than women. Women feign romance, but are infinitely more calculating. Don’t take that as a slur, ladies–it’s a compliment. Male ardor has led to more bloodshed and agony than all the wars combined, and what we lack in self-control we more than make up for in passion, and that is our greatest weakness–and strength.
Men LOVE love. We love with a deep, powerful passion that engulfs us. And when we fall in love, we leap into the abyss without wondering where or when we will land.
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Men LOVE love. We love with a deep, powerful passion that engulfs us. And when we fall in love, we leap into the abyss without wondering where or when we will land.
Needless to say, we are prone to fall in love. And more than once in our lifetime. I figure that a grown adult male–over 40–will have fallen in love–real love, not infatuation, at least three times.
What do I mean by falling in love? You know what I mean. And if you don’t, you’ve never fallen in love.
Of those three loves, one was a total mistake–a psycho who was so sexually thrilling but so nutty that the memory of her causes involuntary shuddering; one is probably lying next to you now, the mother of your children, the woman you vowed to love…
That leaves one OTHER love–the one you never talk about. Especially with your wife. This other love may have been someone you sat behind in 5the grade, or someone who had went out with your best friend, but it was probably someone you dated and you fell in love with, then she dumped you for someone else, or because she didn’t love you the way you loved her, or because she decided that other women were better life mates.
A grown adult male–over 40–will have fallen in love–real love, not infatuation, at least three times.
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Whatever the reason, you carry an olympic-sized torch for her. I’m not saying that you think about her every day…as a matter of course, she may rarely come to mind, but when she does you feel a stirring in your heart, and the hair on the back of your neck stands at attention, and some moment that you spent with her comes roaring back to you in vivid detail, and once more you are hooked. And every once in while, when you least expect it, you think about her.
And in a way that’s wonderful.
TASK:
Go to a supermarket. Buy a card for that woman you never talk about. One of those cards that has a romantic picture on the outside but nothing inside (these are usually more expensive than the cards that have some hokey sentiment written inside which makes no sense, but hell, go for it). Bring the card home and open it up and write down everything that you loved about that woman. Try to articulate the feelings you have when you think about her.
Then close the card, put it in its envelope, seal it and put it in your notebook.
Photo by seth capitulo
Joe Doe
“Women fain romance but are infinitely more calculating”
Hmmmmm,what does this statement say about you if this is the story about the women you have loved in your life?
Frankly I am insulted ,deeply insulted.
Unfortunately, people write based on their experiences, and this has also been mine. Of all the thousands of women I’ve met, and talked to extensively, I’ve never heard it. I’ve never heard a woman talk about a man this way. That she would do anything for him. That she’d take a bullet for him because she can’t imagine living without him in her life, and he brings more joy to everyone around him than she could ever hope to achieve. That he’s the ultimate man of her dreams, and love of her life. That she wrote 100,000 words about him,… Read more »
Hi Anthony
You write well.
In fact you write beautifully ,and this is exactly how I feel and have all ways felt for the man that is the great love of my life .
He died .
And I believe you ,and do not doubt that men can love like you .
Thanks, and I’m sorry to hear about your loss too. I don’t even know how I would survive something like that, so I try not to contemplate it. You’re strong for participating here, in the face of such a thing. I was going to say, although my experience has been similar to the author’s, in terms of attitudes towards romance that the women I’ve met have held, I’m sure there are women out there who love this deeply, feel this strongly, (not about me, but in general about love) and aren’t “infinitely more calculating”. I just consider myself unfortunate that… Read more »
Maybe you know them, it’s just that they haven’t expressed it to you.
Men are sexual, not romantic. They are sexualised by society from the moment they are born with misogynistic and toxic messages that, if they aren’t sexual pigs, they aren’t “man” enough. These toxic messages tell men only to “love” women like they love their cars or their money or whatever: no romantic aspect at all, because that’s “too feminine” and not “man enough”. Society teaches men that they are entitled to women. Ever wondered why so many women are catcalled and raped every day by men? Because men are taught to do it by society. They get so caught up… Read more »
Miss Andris
“We just need to remove men from this earth”
My experince is like yours many men are sexual not romantic.
But to even think the thought that men need to be removed from this earth tells me your hate is so deep that a better strategy for you must be to seek professional help.
It’snot hate, it’s pain and trauma. Unfortunatelly, too many women need professional help because of the hurt and pain men cause us everyday and have always caused. It takes time and a lot of work, but it’s possible to achieve a more stable mind and neutral reaction to the constant displays of male entitlement and domination.
Hahaha….what I say is “bring it on!” I’ll be one of the last men standing. I’m a hopeless romantic. Pulling all nighters writing songs for women, remembering everything they say, and surprising them with gifts years later, related to a comment they once made about something they particularly loved, pulling strings to have their best friends fly into town for a surprise birthday party, hand writing letters to them to congratulate them on their successes. Nope. “Society” hasn’t taught me anything about “toxic” masculinity. But women have. They’re the ones who can’t fathom that a guy like me exists, and… Read more »