This is a comment by Notavi on the post “Can’t Get Laid“.
I think a part of the issue is communication. When two people meet there isn’t really any effective way to know what page two people happen to be on about such a controversial topic as casual sex—so there’s no easy way to know whether suggesting it might result in drama.
The shame about multiple partners that women suffer also has a secondary effect here, as it means that some women interpret a man expressing this kind of interest as an insult—because if he thinks she might be interested, surely that must mean he has a low opinion of her as a woman …
Which just serves to compound the chilling effect the shame creates—everyone is afraid to raise the topic for fear of either embarrassment or causing offense. I’m not sure how we can defuse that, but removing it from the equation would probably be quite helpful in addressing this issue.
Photo credit: Flickr / DCist