Why Can’t I Find Love?
Hi, Tiffany here. Women ask Gregg all the time, “Why Can’t I Find Love?” We all want to love and be loved. It’s amazing to feel a real, lasting connection with another person — to be lucky enough to find that someone who makes our hearts race, someone we can actually settle down with for the long haul.
But the road to love can be bumpy, with some serious twists and turns. If we’re not careful, we can lose control or worse, hit a roadblock that completely stops a relationship in its tracks. Best advice? Avoid these 4 roadblocks which are keeping you from love.
Why Can’t I Find Love? #1 Beware of the Superficial
It’s easy to get lost in a superficial checklist of qualities you look for in a partner. But remember, you are not buying a car! A hot body and shiny good looks only take you so far. If you can’t find love, then stop stressing about things that don’t really matter. So far, you have only dated blonds (because you have thing for Brad Pitt), or guys taller than you in heels. How far has that gotten you?
Physical attraction is important, but did you ever notice how a guy gets more (or less) appealing the more you get to know him? That hunky man who treats you poorly can quickly drop to a zero, while the sweet man who makes you laugh can suddenly rev your engine.
Don’t get stuck on a checklist. Instead, open yourself up to new possibilities and see where it takes you. Have you dated an older man? Tried dating a younger guy? How about a guy that loves motorcycles? The happiest relationships share fundamental values, compatible interests, and travel deeper than what is on the surface.
#2 Don’t Let Anxiety Hold You Back
Dating is filled with uncertainty, and it can be intimidating. Instinctively, you may feel a bit of anxiety about the whole thing, and start to avoid dating altogether. Or if you are putting yourself out there, you may decide to floor it in reverse once things really get going.
Instead of worrying and focusing on the negative, imagine the best-case scenario. Picture the two of you reaching that destination together. Let yourself feel happy. Don’t let worry halt your chances of finding love.
#3 Ditch The Baggage and Travel Light
In To Date A Man, You Must Understand A Man, dating coach Gregg Michaelsen teaches us all about baggage handling. And as usual, it’s is a great bit of relationship and dating advice! The message is simple, and as plain to see as a flashing street sign. Don’t let your baggage slow you down.
Remember, men have baggage too, and they find it refreshing when we are honest and unload it right from the start. As long as you keep it light and positive, you should have nothing but green lights ahead. He will, in turn, feel comfortable enough to let you in on his baggage as well. Get it out there and leave it all behind. That’s the best way to start your journey together — traveling light!
Why Can’t I Find Love?
#4 Stay on Track and Keep Moving Forward
Many of us get scared when we get too close. That old baggage resurfaces again, and we start making comparisons. We don’t want to get hurt again. We become unsure, or we become afraid to make a commitment. So we put up walls and distance ourselves from love, making it virtually impossible to move forward.
Don’t get stuck in your own head. You may think you are protecting yourself from a major disaster, but in reality, you are just preventing yourself from reaching the place where you really want to be. If you’re not open to love, you will never get there. Stay on track, move past the fear, and make a choice to keep your heart open.
There is a lot of dating advice for women out there. Because love CAN be a difficult road filled with obstacles. But the fact is, we may just be responsible for some of those roadblocks. Like a good Driver’s Ed refresher course, sometimes we need a little reminder to avoid the things that get in the way of our happiness.
The finish line is in sight — so avoid those roadblocks, and enjoy the ride!
This post was previously published on Who Holds The Cards Now? and is republished here with permission from the author.
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