William Mize shares wise words for men who have just lost their jobs.
As men, a great deal of us really associate who we are with what we do. There’s a reason why this is one of the first questions that gets asked at parties. It’s an ice breaker, but it’s also a way for each person to kind of start forming a mental picture of the other person. We begin to build a construct based on the information we receive.
But what if we don’t have a job?
What if we don’t do something?
Where do we go then?
One thing that I encourage clients to do is always take action.
As both men and women can attest to, when faced with a problem, men always go into Problem Solving Mode®
Sometimes this is a good thing, sometimes it’s a bad thing.
With women, most of the time they just want to be heard and empathized with. Trust me, if they need you to solve a problem, they will say so in a direct manner.
When one is terminated or quits a job, there are certain actions that men can take immediately to make their life easier and better in both the short term and the long run.
Over at the Money Under 30 blog, Phil Villarreal has a list of 5 things that you should do right after you lose your job.
The one thing that most men would not think to do, and I think is the most important is number one: Write a thank you note to the person who just fired you. While you may be sad, angry, steaming, frustrated and just plain pissed off, it’s definitely a good idea to calm down, take stock and not burn bridges.
Write this person, and anyone else at the company who is in a position of leadership or makes hiring decisions, a good thank you note. Thank you for what? Think about it. Do you think this was a hard or an easy decision for them? Do you think that they enjoyed giving you the boot? Normally, the answer is NO.
Now you don’t have to bow down before them, but you do want to make it short, polite and to the point, thanking them for the opportunity and give them your contact information.
The lesson to be learned here is that you never know.
You never know who you will be working with in the future.
You never know when another opportunity at the same company might become available.
When I was in the Air Force, there were two prevailing attitudes when it came to work.
Some people acted as if it were a BIG Air Force. They figured they could fuck around, talk shit, and burn bridges with abandon because it was a big Air Force with plenty of bases and people, and they would never see their coworkers or bosses again.
I acted as if it were a SMALL Air Force. I figured that the longer I stayed in, the longer I worked at my current AFSC (job specialization) the greater the chance was that I would see the same folks again, either as their boss or as their subordinate. I worked hard at my job, didn’t burn any bridges and always tried to maintain a positive attitude.
Trust me when I say that this was harder with some people than it was with others.
There are jerks in the Air Force just as there are jerks in the civilian world.
Please take a look at Phil’s advice above, and take our words to heart.
There are things that you can do, on a daily basis, to move forward and successfully find a job.
We’re going to be talking about work and masculinity in my next newsletter, so please click here to subscribe.
Don’t burn bridges.
You can do this, and if you need help, I’m always available.