Question: My girlfriend’s baby’s daddy is trying to break us up. He keeps telling her that their child deserves a family, her family (her mom and dad) instead of some guy raising her. I love her little girl as if she was my own. I can’t bear the thought of losing them and was planning to ask her to marry me on her birthday next month. Please help me save my family.
Answer: What a challenging position you’re in. It sounds like you really love your girlfriend and the daughter as if she was your own… I’m assuming your girlfriend divorced the baby’s daddy… and he’s having a hard time letting go seeing how happy the three of you are? Furthermore it sounds like he’s doing his best to destroy the foundation that you’ve built and that he’s really getting under your skin, making you feel unsettled, insecure and out of control, yes?
A few fundamental shifts in point of view might help you my good friend. First, do you believe the Universe is for you or against you? If you believe it’s against you then an example of this belief is this baby’s daddy. If you believe the Universe is for you then this is an invitation and a gift for something within you to emerge so you can grow and evolve into an even more noble bad ass! Victim or hero… your choice 😉
Second shift of point of view: do you believe the baby’s daddy is creating your reality or you are creating your reality? Do you believe he’s more powerful than you or that you are more powerful than him to manage your thoughts, feelings, action? Do you believe you can create beyond him or do you believe you are the victim of his bullying behavior?
Believe me, after a 10+ your custody battle I’ve had my fair share of time learning this lesson with a bully! I don’t know about you, but in the past I used to be quite the people pleaser, deeply insecure inside, afraid to rock the boat, rarely asked for what I desired, and gave away my power on a pretty frequent basis. Sounds sexy, yes? Kidding 🙂
In all honesty, when my son’s father bullied me to the point of our son saying he wanted to kill himself… that was the invitation from the Universe for me to stop hiding, stop being a victim, stop making excuses and believing I was powerless. It was a bold invitation to show up, open up my heart, and lead with fierce love to create a reality in which I could thrive.
While that didn’t happen overnight, and I fell down many times, had to brush myself off and get back up… today I have never been a more peaceful, thriving, grateful and deliciously alive.
I tell you this because I believe this experience is an invitation for you to not be pushed around by a bully, yet not to become a bully yourself either… instead to find your masculine nobility. That’s when you’re solid, noble, centered, present, poised and fiercely leading with your purpose, values and heart.
I’d say don’t wait a month to ask her to marry you. I would step in and manifest the life you desire now. Claim it. Create it. Own it. Own your future. Don’t focus on this coward. Don’t let some bully push you around. Lean in. Open up. Step up.
Talk to your fiancé about ways in which the two of you can create healthy boundaries to support your marriage and family as well. Ask for her partnership in limiting conversations and interactions so that he doesn’t have a chance to break you guys up.
Don’t let him get under your skin anymore by seeing him for what he is, a deeply terrified and insecure little boy whose family may have never made him feel enough, in fact made him feel like a burden and he’s seeking revenge on them… with you and your girlfriend. Send him compassion and love as you stand firmly with certainty, heart openness and allowance.
I can’t imagine a better wedding gift for the two of you then to go through a solid foundational six sessions with me to ensure your communication is solid, your intimacy rituals are in place, your parenting is in alignment and your future values and goals are synergistic. Gives me shivers writing that 😉
You’re both going to need to learn how to navigate a bully and create beyond him with as much ease and grace as possible. I recommend you go to www.AllanaPratt.com/connect right now and apply for a complementary strategy session so the three of us can get on Zoom together and create the foundation for your marriage and family to soar for years to come.
Remember he’s a gift for you to become an even greater man 🙂
I’m so grateful you reached out. It’s my pleasure to support you.
We got this.
Your fiancé will be so grateful that you did.
All my love, Allana
p.s. Gentlemen…End the Fear of Rejection.
Enjoy your “How To Be A Noble Badass” Complementary Training at www.GetHerToSayYes.com
Ladies…Be irresistible. Feel sacred. Attract him now.
Enjoy your “Vulnerability is the New Sexy” Complementary Training at www.AllanaPratt.com
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