Closure Isn’t Always Needed; Sometimes It’s Just an Excuse

We often hear that closure is essential for moving on. Whether it’s the end of a relationship, a friendship, or a chapter in life, we’re told we need a final conversation, a clear explanation, or some neat resolution to find peace.

You stare at your phone, drafting that “one last text” to get closure. You imagine this magical moment where everything finally makes sense, your ex or old friend opens up, and suddenly, you’re walking away feeling whole again.

Flash news: that doesn’t happen, you just end up feeling worst.

Chasing closure is often just a sneaky excuse to slide back into someone’s DMs when they’ve already shown they don’t belong in your life.

Let’s talk about why it’s time to drop the closure obsession and move the hell on.

When “Closure” Is Just You Clinging to Crumbs

Closure sounds comforting, doesn’t it? Like if you could just get that one conversation, all your questions would vanish, and you’d be free.

The truth is, closure only works when both people are willing to meet halfway with honesty and respect. If you’re the only one chasing it, you’re not closing anything, you’re just running in circles, trapped by the past.

We imagine sitting down with someone, hashing it out, and walking away with all our questions answered. But real life rarely works like that. People don’t always have the answers we want, and even if they do, those answers might not bring the peace we expect.

Let’s be honest: sometimes, the desire for closure is less about understanding and more about reconnecting. We miss someone, or we’re curious about what they’re doing, so we frame it as needing to “clear the air¨.

Closure won’t change a thing unless you own it first

I dated someone for half year who ghosted me out of the blue, and trust me there’s no situation more unconcluded than a ghosting.

If you dated someone for such a period, you might think you deserved an answer, at least I did.

But the thing is, he already had let me on read several messages when he decided to ghost me, so why texting him again will make any difference?

What could I possible said that will make him answer me?

Nothing.

Cause if he didn’t care the first time enough to answer, why would the second matter or what he could possible say to make me gain so peace after he ghosted me?

Nothing.

I didn’t text him again, luckily I didn’t, cause imagine how sad it would be to not knowing when to stop. Did it drive me crazy not knowing what happen to our relationship if you could call it so? Sure, but you know what’s worst than been the girl who was ghosted? been the girl that also loose his dignity

Id lie awake wondering if he met someone else, if I was too much, or if he just got bored. For a while I though what would happen if he suddenly one day apologized and look for closure and my answer is still the same:

Nothing.

Even if he popped up with an apology and a PowerPoint on “Why I Sucked,” wouldn’t change a thing.

Nothing can changed what happen and surely I make my peace with it, knowing I wasn’t the one who run away without explanation but also I wasn’t the one who begged for it when someone didn’t care about me, that’s what’s all the closure I need.

Closure is a choice, not a conversation

Closure isn’t some long, awkward conversation or a “final” text. Its you deciding thriving without them.

I can understand if you feel like you might have made a mistake and believe someone deserves an apology, if that’s the case, maybe you should send that message. But honestly, don’t expect kindness in return. I’ve always believed that issues need to be addressed in the moment; otherwise, their meaning and impact start to fade, losing both worth and credibility.

Every time you chase someone who doesn’t deserve you, you’re giving them power they didn’t earn and downgrading yourself.

Stop using “closure” as a reason to cling to what’s not yours anymore. We need to be okay with not knowing everything, with letting questions without answer, and trust me time will always give them to you.

There’s such beauty in not knowing everything.

Closure isn’t a requirement for moving forward; it’s a choice. And sometimes, the most powerful choice is to release the need for it altogether. Let go of the idea that you need one last conversation to be free.

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