In this provocative piece, author and speaker Dale Fincher shares a few good reasons why many American Christians aren’t occupying the pews for an hour like they used to.
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Editor’s note: Here on Sunday Mornings we’ll be having a conversation about the changing nature of the American Church. Last month we brought you “Does Your Pastor Want To Skip Church,” today we’re thrilled to bring you this article by Dale Fincher of Soulation. Stay tuned for an upcoming interview with Daelsson frontman, Josh Kauffman, where he shares his experience connecting to God in the water, surfing.
If good Christians are the ones who go to church, can you imagine how difficult it is to stay away without feeling . . . bad? But I have met Christians who walk away from church who do not live in shame. These Christians are forging another path to worship, follow, and love Jesus well.
Observing and working with people in the church exodus for 15 years, I have noted these six positive reasons for people leaving church.
1) They think Church, not “church,” is the point.
People of the exodus learn that “church” means “the non-profit down the street that meets weekly in a building to hold a one-hour service.” But we know that even Paul uses “church” in different ways (Romans 16 has four). Church can mean so much more (for examples of the more see “What Exactly Is Church?”), people in the church exodus want that “more.”
They expected to find a God at least as mighty as Gandalf, but instead God seems as small and cute as Bob the Builder.
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2) They take responsibility for their own spiritual growth.
People leaving churches refuse shame as a motivator. Most of us can sense the anxiety, the shame we would feel if we left our churches. Some Christians are weary of controlling personalities sheltered by dogma and popular theology that keeps God’s goodness bite-sized. They take the responsibility on themselves to regularly plant the Seed of the Gospel in their souls, cultivating the fruit of the Spirit. They depend on the Spirit, not their church culture, as their source of power.
3) They know what spiritual authority isn’t.
At a popular church conference, I overheard a man tell a pastor, “I’m between churches and taking a break for a while.”
Immediately, without asking about what happened at previous churches, the pastor asked, “What is your problem with authority?”
For that pastor, leaving church signaled rebellion. I later learned that church attendance was this pastor’s way to orchestrate group think (and ensure his salary was paid). This doesn’t always happen, but it is one way some pastors and leaders control their congregations and networks.
When spiritually mature people hear “spiritual authority” regularly emphasized in the church, their alarms trigger. They know there is no mediator between God and humans except Jesus. They aren’t hungry to rebel, but they are ready to protect themselves and others from the misuse of God’s name. They realize that true authority from God is ready to share power and empower the Good, not just one agenda. They leave churches with their sensitivity intact ready to find humility and love among those who claim to worship God.
4) They are healing from an identity crisis.
People in the church exodus attended church weekly looking for someone. They expected to find a God at least as mighty as Gandalf, but instead God seems as small and cute as Bob the Builder. They realize that God’s work and God’s ways are not identical to the work of the non-profit on the corner. They used to think that criticizing the “church” or a Christian institution meant insulting God, that leaving “church” meant leaving God.
5) They have outgrown “church.”
They interpret the phrase, “Get back to church,” as, “Be dependent on this structure, like the rest of us, and then we’ll like you.” They no longer want to be liked in this way. They’ve read enough or met enough people to realize that church attendance is not longer an accurate thermometer to judge faithfulness to God.
They have outgrown the passive manner of church participation. They long to be asked to bring their creativity beyond Find a seat, Sing, Greet your Neighbor, Sing, Give, Listen, Join our Ministries, Drink Coffee.
They are quite sure this is not the God-ordained life. They are aware that most church services and ministries ask too little out of their creativity and maturity in Christ.
6) They are looking for diversity.
Since the most racially and socio-economically segregated time of week in America is Sunday morning, many leave church because they are weary of sameness. They do not want to live in the co-dependent groupthink of, “I’m not okay unless you are okay with me.” They want different perspectives. They want to know why NT Wright is a swear word among Piper’s followers. They want to know why women don’t appear on stage except to lead the children out. They want to learn about the many streams of living water.
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With this litany of reasons, you might misunderstand me to be saying that church is just bad. But I don’t. I believe churches can bring Christians freedom, a tried-and-true way of gathering of resources, life-changing leadership and teaching, and activate good in personal and community life. My point is that when the identity and practice of the People of God lack the reasons above, something is amiss.
I am concerned that church attendance has become a new idol in the evangelical world.
The next time you have a conversation with someone leaving the “church,” ask them why. Don’t ask them so you can shame them into returning. Ask them because you care and are curious. Because maybe they have something you need to hear. Listen closely and you may be treated to a much larger story of their hope in God’s people.
Many are leaving churches in search of hope. And hope isn’t such a bad thing, is it?
Photo: Flickr/James Mauro
Read the expanded version of this article at FreeAtLast.
The purpose of Church is:
1. Worship.
2. Fellowship.
3. Support group.
The purpose of church is NOT:
1. Sitting on a pew for an hour and listening to Charlie Brown’s school-teacher.
You are accountable for the WORD OF GOD, so study your Bible at home.
I think the thing I’m curious about is what will come…if this expression of “church” is no longer working…then is this what Jesus intended in the first place? The “sit, listen, sing, stand, say amen, volunteer on a committee, here’s your list of to do’s and to don’ts…I am hopeful that a more genuine and healthy gathering or expression of Church will emerge from our generation. I believe we are in the midst of a new reformation and that is what Dale is pointing to. I have been so hurt by the church…I still choose to be a part of… Read more »
A couple of thoughts: Meeting together as the church is natural for people who have Christ in common. We love one another. It’s also something that scripture commands us to do. These 6 reasons seem fairly self-centered. That said, there are some really jacked up churches out there. There are also some really great ones. I don’t think there’s a compelling reason to stay at a disfuctional one. Find one that bother the word and work of God and makes Him the main show rather than human preference. You’ll be way blessed to know that God still desires to work… Read more »
#6: They are looking for diversity
The mom of one of my son’s friends tried to recruit him to their church without asking me or my husband first….that is just so offensive to me…luckily my son had the good sense to say “no”….(it turns out these people also run a brain-washing pyramid scheme from which they also try to recruit people…they are such a horror…!)
I’m sorry, but every time I hear people who try to justify not wanting to be a part of a local church, the following verses come immediately to mind: Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful; and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near. (Hebrews 10:23-25 NASB) The problem, as I see it, is that far too… Read more »
Mark, I agree with you. When one turns his focus away from themselves and toward God, church takes on a different meaning. I’m Catholic and we have 3 parishes within the town I live. I’ve been to all three and have settled in with the parish I’m currently in now for at least 10 years. I’m leaving for mass in about 10 minutes. During the week, I go to daily mass at another parish in town because it offers evening mass verses morning. As I said earlier, I go to praise God and find myself thanking him for all the… Read more »
After all, we can all have our own views, but what does it say in the word?
Hi Dale, You made some very valid points there, as the church is a pretty messed up mishmash of people, but you need to be careful because I believe that you are also pushing a point that can become a slippery slope for a lot of people. As someone who grew up in the church, walked away in my mid teens because of all the “hypocrites”, and was called back by my Father in heaven, I can honestly say that I struggle with the conventional church just as much as the next person. It took, and is still taking, a… Read more »
Well stated Brook R. In my case, I go to church to praise and serve God.
Right on Tom, even though we serve and praise God every day of our lives, I do believe it is also very beneficial to have a day or days dedicated to come together with like spirited people, our brothers and sisters in Christ, and do that all the more!
Amen!
Do you have anything to back up what you’re saying?
Perhaps you should click the link to the actual article. This is an abbreviated version.
Thank you. I truly enjoyed your wisdom. I can relate.
Dale, thanks for this piece. People who’ve left or are leaving need support and love, as all members of the capital “C” Church need. More sharing and less shame. We need to learn to love God and love each other…the essence of what the Church is all about.