Ken had lost control. His team’s output was skidding south. The mutterings of discontent were growing louder every day.
But Ken managed to grab the wheel and steer the team around the performance bend onto an upward spiral of improvement.
What caused the transformation?
The problem was that Ken’s ego made him think he was the only one that mattered.
How can you override your ego when your fears focus all your attention on yourself?
Ken’s moment of revelation came when one of his stressed-out team members, whom he really liked, angrily blurted out: “You’re an arrogant shit.”
“Who me?” was his first reaction.
Then he felt angry that someone junior to him had dared to speak to him in this way.
But then, when the anger abated, an intense feeling of aloneness came. Her words had somehow separated him from the team he had thought admired and liked him for his strong leadership.
In that bubble of loneliness, he started to examine what he was doing. He looked at himself from inside to out and noticed his feelings of self-satisfaction.
Then, more importantly, he looked at himself from the outside in and noticed his feelings of detachment. It was a shock to realize that he had not been aware of the feelings he might have been creating within his team.
When he thought about his behavior a bit more, it was even more of a shock to realize that he had never given a moment’s thought to the feelings of his team members.
It was time to take a deep breath and redirect his behavior compass.
Ken set himself a goal, from now on, before asking anyone to do anything he would ask himself a simple question, “What’s in this for the person I am talking to?”
The next few weeks were hard for Ken. He had to be constantly aware of his thoughts and what he was saying. He had to pause and think before opening his mouth.
It was time-consuming.
At times he hated that it took so long to convey the message of what he wanted to be done.
But one day he noticed that team members were smiling at him. It was a bit embarrassing. Was he losing his grip?
No, the team’s results had definitely improved so something must be right.
The shock that kick-starts change is momentary. The change itself has to be permanent.
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This post was previously published on LEADERSHIPPSYCHOLOGY.SUBSTACK.COM.
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