I grew up with the belief that a father’s number one job is to nurture and support his children. Just as a husband’s number one job is to nurture and support his wife.
As a father, the well-being of his children must come first. As a husband, the well-being of his wife must come first.
To nurture his children, it is a must to nurture and support the mother of his children, as the mother is the pillar of the world to a child.
Thus, a father should do whatever is necessary to uphold the number one job…
When a father chooses to abuse his children’s mother, whether it is physically, verbally, emotionally, spiritually or even financially, he does not have the best interests of the children in mind.
I believe it is truly as simple as that.
Children identify with their mother. When a child sees or hears their mother being abused by their father, they learn that it is okay to treat people in a hurtful way.
When a child hears something disrespectful about their mother, they naturally believe whatever is being said about their mother, is also true about themselves.
When a child witnesses their mother crying, the child instinctively believes they are responsible for her emotional state, not the person who has caused the tears.
When a mother is ridiculed for her beliefs, the child learns that having and standing up for one’s beliefs is not allowed.
This week, my friend lost her children.
Not lost as if in a tragic accident or to a terminal illness.
Not lost at an amusement park or left in Target.
Not lost because she is unintelligent, uninformed, uneducated or unemployed. She holds an MBA and works for the federal government.
Not lost because she is a drug abuser or has a criminal past. She does not, in fact, she is ex military.
My friend lost her children this week because the man she was formerly married to, the father of her children, hates her. He unfortunately hates her more than he loves their children.
His hate is so deep and intense; he chose to punish her by kidnapping and alienating her children. He is hiding them for ransom in the form of child support.
His hate is so deep and intense; these children are not being allowed to grow up with a mother. They are no longer allowed relationships with their maternal grandparents, aunts, uncles, or cousins.
A hate so deep and intense, an entire half of their lives has been stripped away from them.
All of this is done in effort to punish their mother.