I once received a message from a friend who said, “I would sacrifice my life for him, but why can’t I win back his love in the end?”
When I read that sentence, I felt really sad. In love, this girl was too humble. It made me think of one thing: you can love others, so why can’t you love yourself?
Sometimes we get carried away by love and are willing to give up everything for it. But in loving others, we forget to love ourselves. We are willing to sacrifice for others, to the point where we lose ourselves in the end.
Is this kind of love worth it? My answer is, no, not at all. Those who repeatedly hurt you in love never truly loved you. If someone doesn’t love you, why should you desperately seek their affection and reconciliation?
For you, losing someone who doesn’t love you is just a loss. But for the other person, they lost someone who loved them immensely. Maybe they won’t find someone like you again in this world, so the biggest loss is theirs, not yours.
Always remember to love yourself.
In mathematics, there is a term called “if and only if.” This term sounds gentle yet authoritative because it represents uniqueness. When you can be the only one for someone else, then they are worth your love. Otherwise, there is no value in giving.
Some say, “Love is selfless.” While this is true, it doesn’t mean you have to be endlessly submissive in love. So, when loving others, don’t forget to love yourself.
Love is mutual and requires reciprocity.
A good relationship doesn’t rely solely on one person’s efforts and persistence. It takes the mutual effort of two people. Only with mutual dedication does love have meaning. Love is mutual, and it requires a give-and-take so that both can rely on each other.
Love needs sincerity and maintenance.
If two people truly love each other, material possessions are not that important. What matters more than material things is a sincere heart.
When a woman truly loves you, she doesn’t care how much you spend on her because, more than material things, what matters is a genuine heart and unconditional giving. In love, once someone has given their sincere heart, it’s hard for them not to be moved.
So, sincerity is the standard to test if two people love each other. Those who give their sincere love in vain should also learn to let go appropriately as a way to respect themselves. Loving others and loving oneself are both choices. If sincere love is not reciprocated, we can still love ourselves.
In a relationship, giving sincere love is the greatest respect and gift we can offer. However, there is a saying that loving oneself is the beginning of lifelong romance. In a relationship, we can give our all, love wholeheartedly, but we shouldn’t harm ourselves limitlessly or compromise our standards for the relationship.
Love is mutual and requires sincere efforts to sustain.
You can love someone to bits, but nobody will love the shattered pieces of you. This statement is harsh yet realistic. The obstacles we face in relationships are often due to our reluctance to let go of ourselves.
In relationships, because we love the other person too much, we often forget how to love and protect ourselves, ending up deeply wounded in the process.
When we truly understand the meaning of love one day, we will realize that if we can love others, we can also love ourselves just as fiercely. Because only when you love yourself, will someone come to love you.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
What Does Being in Love and Loving Someone Really Mean? | My 9-Year-Old Accidentally Explained Why His Mom Divorced Me | The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex | The Internal Struggle Men Battle in Silence |
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