As nice as it would be to just feel amazing about ourselves every single day, I doubt there’s anyone on Earth who can claim that they do.
And if they do make that claim, they’re lying.
While everyone has bad days now and again, some of us have really bad days, ones where we feel like we’d do anything to get away from ourselves.
Sound familiar? There are so many reasons this can happen — depression, anxiety, tragedy, big changes, and so on.
Maybe this is you, maybe it’s not. But regardless, when trying times come and on days when you feel like you’d give anything to be someone or somewhere else, you still have to continue living.
Running away from your life isn’t an option.
But tell it to me straight. On days like that, how do you feel?
Depressed, worn down, hopeless? Like you’ll never amount to anything or become anything more then what you are right now?
I’m with you. I feel the same.
Some days, I feel lost in a life where I should feel secure, struggling with relationships where I don’t want to struggle.
I feel empty. Emotionless. Like I just want all of this to end.
Not in the sense that I want my life to end, but in the sense that I don’t want to continue feeling this way.
I can’t see past myself and the pain I’m feeling.
And unfortunately, when you’re in a relationship with someone, it’s hard for them not to take it personally.
They think that because you’re so down, they must have done something. They must have upset you somehow — otherwise, you wouldn’t be acting this way.
But how do you act normally? How do you love them when you don’t even love yourself?
How do you explain that the love you have for them isn’t gone, it’s just not something you can access right now?
Sometimes you can’t. And that’s okay.
Because relationships aren’t all about feeling happiness and love every single day.
They’re about getting through life together — about helping each other through the hard times, even when at times the frustration of things that happen may seem directed at you.
Relationships are about letting your partner struggle — and not trying to change them, not trying to fix them, or make them be happy all the time.
Love is letting someone whose struggling know that you’re there for them anyway, even if they can’t access their feelings or show their love.
Love is not changing someone, it’s loving them even when you don’t feel like you’re getting love back.
And the thing is, it’ll be your turn for a bad day soon.
So if your partner is struggling, if they’re having a really bad day or even a bad week, don’t get offended because they’re not acting like themselves.
Don’t get mad that they’re not taking time to do the little things that show they love you — chances are they don’t even love themselves right now.
But that doesn’t mean their love is gone. It’s still there, it’s just overshadowed by the strong emotions bad days and hard times bring.
Remember, it’s not you, it’s them. It’s the way they’re feeling at the moment.
But just for the moment. Not forever.
—
This post was previously published on medium.com.
***
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS. Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
Compliments Men Want to Hear More Often | Relationships Aren’t Easy, But They’re Worth It | The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex | ..A Man’s Kiss Tells You Everything |
—–
Photo credit: andrew welch on Unsplash