While the burden of the patriarchic society has fallen off the shoulders of women in many societies and increasingly so in more societies, the law and the civil rights movements are doing a great job trying to level out the playing field, However, I believe men are fundamentally different from women and will always be.
The fact remains that, men will always have a few things they do way more than or differently from women and reveal a lot about who they are.
Here are just a few of those:
1. Risky And Extreme Sports
There has been a long-standing stereotype about the superior percentage of men’s involvement in certain sports that are considered dangerous or extreme and this is not just a stereotype prevalent in one country it is pretty much the same everywhere and so it is safe to say that it is a fact.
Football, Speed Racing, Bull Riding, Horse racing, Cliff Jumping, Canoeing, Cricket (Yes…Cricket) and then even the MMA’s and Boxing; Men are wired to like these sort of things and when they are not playing it they are watching it and relishing it.
While women are increasingly getting involved in these sports, the rush that we feel from participating in these sports is both natural and significant to who we are as men. The motivation behind men’s involvement in these sports is majorly the challenge; Men are natural warriors and seek conquest. Self-improvement is in fact the reason why people challenge themselves.
Men are conquerors and will always be… this is helpful for a society that is in dire need of real men who will face the challenges in every sector selflessly.
2. Maintain The Same Hairstyle and Look
Not every man is David Beckham; in fact, while many men would want to look like him, not very many ever change their hair nearly as much as he does. It has been said that men change their hair style only three times in their adult lives between the ages of 18 to 37, while women generally change their hair and general looks at least fifty times within that period.
The same can be said about the beards. For men, the term “style statement” actually means something and their sense of style remains pretty much static because men are not primarily emotional—or better yet don’t act off how emotional they actually are—they don’t feel different about themselves every now and again.
A man wants to look how he feels or at least wants his looks to depict the kind of person he feels he should be or is aiming for. For instance, certain beards can give off the macho look rather easily and a few haircuts may show different things about the man.
In the end, a man’s hair and beards say a lot about him or at least is a statement he is trying to get out there and it remains the same pretty much for a long time. Men are stable generally and don’t waver too much.
3. Taking Chances; Bets And Gambles
My intention is not to comment on the morality of gambling, but the revelation it gives about how men are wired. It is all about the risk and the promise of reward; and almost the same reason that there are more men entrepreneurs than women in certain high-risk businesses and industries.
Michael Konik, author of The Smart Money (How the World’s Best Sports Bettors Beat the Bookies Out of Millions), who is more or less an expert in the psychology of gambling and betting said of Pinnacle Sports, one of the most highly rated bookies internationally;“it would not be out of line to guess that their [Pinnacle Sports] annual handle is in the billions of dollars.”
To think that the industry is as rich as it is, mainly off of men is a situation to ponder deeply about, but what does that really say about men and risks? That they are inseparable? While this is a most glaring show of risk-taking men get involved in, intrinsically even men who steer clear of betting and gambling take similar risks in one way of the other.
Men take risks, where they see a reward or the promise of reward. The greatest motivation for a man to place a bet is seeing someone else win huge. This is not necessarily a bad thing at its very core; it just shows that men will be willing to pay a price for reward. Talk about putting your money where your mouth is.
4. Send Blunt Texts And Give Short Replies
“I got the Job honey!” is the typical kind of text a guy would send to his wife when he gets a job they have both been praying for. His texts don’t start with “yeeeeeessss” or anything that dramatic and chances are, neither do his statements.
Men are different and temperaments differ clearly, some men are more excitable than the others and a little chattier, but at the very core most men if not all still have a bluntness to them and need to be pressured for surrounding details to an event.
The fact is that men generally do not say more than needs to be said and this testifies to the clarity and straightforwardness of their thoughts. Men see only what needs to be seen and say only what needs to be said; it’s called focus. Life is much easier that way. So chances are if he said it; that is exactly what he meant to say…look no further.
5. Bond Easily With Other Men
Two guys meet and no matter how dissimilar they are, they seem to instantly become best buddies. Men can bond easily over something like a shared favorite football team. Men seem to have little or no qualms with helping out a stranger who is a guy and sparking bromance at the smallest of things.
While these relationships are rarely ever as deep as they appear, it goes to show that men rarely carry emotional loads and are generally light emotionally. This is why if he says he forgives you; he does. You need to relax. This is probably also why men struggle with commitment. They seem to be more comfortable operating on the surface emotionally and unwilling to become emotionally vulnerable.
So let’s see, Courage, Stability, Focus, Sincerity and raw Dare! While these can’t be said for every man, they are sure attributes we all should aspire to if we are to be our utmost.
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Photo: Getty Images
Since the times I’ve posted in this topic, Chidike has contacted me via email; and we have communicated. I have misjudged him. My deepest apologies to all. Chidike is a good man.
Thank You Bill, It means a lot to hear you say that.
“1. Risky And Extreme Sports” Chidike, you speak of “real men.” Are you saying that men who have no interest in sports aren’t real men? Are you saying there is something wrong with a boy who doesn’t like sports? Are nonathletic males inferior? Judging from reading #1, this seems to be your implied position. You have said nothing that would indicate otherwise. There have been slightly built, nonathletic guys who have shown a lot more courage than most of us. Was the civil rights movement of the 1950s led by “jocks”? How many football players were among the college students… Read more »
Wow… This is blowing my mind literally… I didn’t Know you were the author.. And noded my head all through as I read.
Good post. Does no#4 also explain their insensitivity to little things that matter-especially to women? Being Blunt. ‘…Men say only what needs to be said and see only what needs to be seen… ‘ The lack of attention to details.
When it comes to detail about things that are important, men do pay attention, they just don’t yammer about it.
Hello Adaeze,
Great question, I think it does impact on the seeming lack of attention to detail. its not really a lack of attention to details as it is the fact that does details don’t stand out nearly as much to us. we notice, but dont often see it like y’all see it so we don’t yarp too much about it or address it as you would like.
A good man will listen to you when you do complain about it though.
Very strong point Adaeze, I am inclined to agree with you. We do seem insensitive at times
I pretty much agree with what you’ve said which brings me to ask the question … why are so many, including the many writers here at GMP, pushing the opposite? They’ve gone so far as to want to eliminate “gender” all together. You said “So let’s see, Courage, Stability, Focus, Sincerity and raw Dare! While these can’t be said for every man, they are sure attributes we all should aspire to if we are to be our utmost.” Many would challenge “courage” and “raw dare” as being a flaw and not an attribute. They would see these as being brain… Read more »
Hello Tom,
I totally agree with you. One of the reasons I lend my voice to the conversations about men is because of the increased confusion about male roles and natural instincts. People just keep saying too many things that are so untrue and mere misunderstandings.
I agree with you. Thanks for reading.
Tom, do you believe nonathletic boys and men are inferior? Aren’t we all entitled to our own preferences without others reacting in a bigoted fashion about it?
What would lead you to think I would think anyone is inferior? Some people can be jerks when they’re around their click, heck, when they’ve made their own click. I’ve seen intellectuals mock and berate jocks. So do you believe athletic boys men are inferior?
You misspelled “clique.” Perhaps some, if not many, of the intellectuals you speak of were bullied by “jocks” in high school. To answer your smug little question, no, I have never believed athletic boys were inferior. But it has long been true that nonathletic boys have been viewed as inferior for generations.
Let me rephrase my question, Tom: Do you believe that a boy who has no interest in sports is a sissy? Yes or no?
I think that #5 is more often a pretense that we maintain, and that perhaps we do so precisely because many of us struggle to form deep male bonds.
Hello Desijant,
I agree with you and you will sense that suggested in the article itself. However, it is also significant that we can get by without much hurt..even when we ought to be very hurt, we don’t hold on nearly as much as women.
we are not wired to make such intense emotional investments.
Have to admit, though I’ve never been much on gambling, most of it rings true.
DJ, I am Glad you think that, Men are wired differently indeed and these few things reveal that.
Yes, Chidike. There are, of course, cross overs, and we have to allow for that, but overall it seems one of those things that we all pretty much understand, but no one really vocalizes. You’ve done a fine job of that right here. Kudos, man.
What about those of us who never had an interest in sports when we were kids? Are we therefore “feminized” males? #1 is a bigoted assumption.