I know that one day on his routine will not lift me into the 1%, but it’s easy to see how a schedule like this could get me there.
—-
It’s 4:30 AM on a Tuesday and I’m in a scorching hot bath drinking an iced espresso. This is not my usual morning routine; this is the first part of my day, as I, Tim Goessling, regular guy, replicate fashion mogul Tom Ford’s daily schedule. Because not only is Tom Ford a titan of the fashion world, he is a gate-keeper of all things high society and “1%.” You may think you’re elite, but until you have Jay-Z songs named after you, Academy Award winners starring in your directorial debut film, and you’re pals with the First Lady, you’re not anywhere close to being on his level.
When my fiancé (who is way more fashion conscious than me) showed me Ford’s daily schedule from Harper’s Bazaar, I was intrigued. Could I gain a feeling of being in the 1% just by following in his footsteps? How would it make me feel? How would others react? Or is feeling like the 1% simply un-attainable because of financial roadblocks? These are the questions I had in mind when I decided to try out his routine for a day. His abridged schedule is in italics, what I did and my thoughts follow.
♦◊♦
4:30 A.M. The first thing that I do when I get out of bed is weigh myself. I make myself a tall glass of iced espresso, get into a hot bath, and slowly sip my drink as I come to life. Often, I lie in the tub for a half hour and just let my mind wander. I find a bath meditative and usually prepare myself for the day in this manner. Once out of the tub, I throw on my gym clothes. Typically, I answer my e-mails. On average, I get about 100 per day. The home page on my computer is set to the Daily Beast Cheat Sheet, an excellent summary of the news of the day from different publications around the world. Then I do a bit of work before working out with my trainer at 8:00.
The early wake-up was unexpectedly easy. Weighing myself provided a (somewhat unwelcome) perspective about my current diet, but a reminder to be healthier is a good thing. I don’t have an espresso machine so I settled on a double shot Starbucks espresso can. Right away I was reminded that maybe I wasn’t so elite, but all those thoughts evaporated when I hit the hot bath and starting sipping that cold beverage. My mind drifted between analyzing my goals for the day and also just repeatedly telling myself how glorious the cold caffeine / hot bath combo was. Once out of the bath I put on some basic gym clothes and dominated my personal and work emails. Hyped off that espresso, I cleared out all of my inboxes and devoured the daily news. I was amped and totally prepared for the day.
♦◊♦
8:00 A.M. I work out at a gym at home with Pilates equipment, cardio equipment, and free weights. I usually do about 30 to 45 minutes of cardio and then a half hour of crunches, push-ups, stretching, and other exercises using my own body weight, as I can tend to bulk up quickly if I use weights more than occasionally.
I don’t have a personal trainer or a home gym so I settled for a neighborhood jog and pull-up bar routine once I was back at the house. Considering I rarely work out (don’t judge me!), it was tough to get motivated, surely a personal trainer could help with that. Of course, personal trainers and home gyms cost money, so again I was feeling encumbered by my current financial standing. That being said, the exercise was rejuvenating.
♦◊♦
9:15 A.M. After working out, I have a breakfast of whole-grain muesli or bran cereal, half a banana, and several slices of pineapple. Then I take another bath, this time with soap, and wash my hair. Naturally, I use my own beauty products; I wash my face with either my cream cleanser if my skin feels dry or gel cleanser if my skin feels particularly oily. I then trim my beard and brush my hair into place. I use my daily moisturizer and take my small makeup brushes to touch up any skin blemishes or dark circles with stick foundation (color no. 7). I put on my “uniform”: a white shirt, a dark tie, a gold collar pin, a black or dark-gray single-breasted peaked-lapel suit, and black cap-toed shoes. I wear a variation of this look every day that I am in a city. (My other uniforms are for Santa Fe, Mustique, or a ski resort.)
This breakfast was delicious and made me feel healthy as hell. Unlike the first bath, the second one felt purely functional. I dove deep into my fiancée’s beauty supplies to try to moisturize but couldn’t find any Tom Ford products. I ended up with a Chanel moisturizer that I pray was for my face. My skin didn’t feel any different but putting on beauty supplies made me feel a little bit like Patrick Bateman. I didn’t want to look like a kid playing dress up with his Dad’s clothes (doesn’t seem in the Tom Ford spirit) so I didn’t wear a suit, but I did pull off a pretty decent black skinny tie, white shirt , and black shoes combo. Picturing this outfit as “uniform” for work did make me feel more ready to dominate the day.
Selfie of a man who never takes selfies and acts nothing like Tom Ford, normally.
♦◊♦
10:00 A.M. I usually arrive at the office by 10:00. I have a weakness for doughnuts and often completely ruin my diet by eating a doughnut or two when I arrive.
Inhaling this doughnut duet felt absolutely heavenly. With the sweet doughnut nectar flowing in my veins, I dove into work.
♦◊♦
1:00 P.M. I hate going out for lunch during a workday because it slows down my pace and ruins my rhythm. I prefer to eat at my desk. Actually, I wander around the design studio with a plate in my hand as I dine on, for example, salmon sashimi and a salad of tomatoes and mozzarella. I often have a bit of dark chocolate after lunch.
I couldn’t find salmon sashimi at non-1% prices so I settled for a tomato and ball of mozzarella from Trader Joe’s. I cut this up and did a couple laps around the office while eating out of a paper bowl. My food didn’t taste nearly as good I imagine Ford’s does, and I found myself wishing his afternoon snack was more like his doughnut snack (cheaper and tastier).
♦◊♦
6:00 P.M. Most nights, I work at the office until anytime between 6:00 and 8:00, depending on whether or not I have to go out to dinner. If I do have to go out at night, which I do about four nights a week, I try to take a 45-minute nap, have another hot bath, and put on a clean shirt.
Like Ford I tried to take a nap, but ended up failing and moving onto bath number three. The hot water was nice, but it started to feel taxing on both my skin and the environment (an average bathtub holds 30 gallons of water). Switching outfits to a freshie dress shirt did make me feel elite though. It’s something that I never do — usually I switch over to my pajamas.
♦◊♦
8:00 P.M. I am not someone who likes cocktail parties or large dinner parties, but I have to attend them often. I much prefer very small dinners with close friends. I eat at the same restaurants in London most nights: Scott’s, No. 35, J. Sheekey, Mark’s Club, Harry’s Bar, or Cut at 45 Park Lane. If I am meeting someone for drinks first, I always like to go to the Fumoir at Claridge’s. My favorite evenings are actually spent at home. Richard [Buckley, Ford’s partner of 25 years] is a great cook, and I love dinner in the kitchen with just the two of us and the dogs.
Similar to Ford my favorite evenings are spent at home, but since my fiancée was out watching “The Bachelor” that wasn’t an option. Instead, I met my most fashion savy friend Ashley Torres, who runs a blog called Pursuit of Shoes, for a drink. We went to the swanky Culver Hotel where a jazz trio often plays. I ordered a mojito; and as the trumpets improvised, I sipped my drink and talked fashion, feeling closer to Ford than ever before.
Hardly Fitting For Tom Ford
♦◊♦
10:30 P.M. When we come home from a night out, Richard and I walk the dogs around Grosvenor Square and then head up to bed. Believe it or not, I usually take another hot bath and wash my face. Then we watch a bit of television (usually things we have recorded) or read and go to sleep. I don’t wear anything in bed. In fact, I rarely wear clothes at all when I am at home.
I don’t have any dogs so I just took another bath. Until this point the baths had been vaguely nice, but now it’s almost tortuous. I’ve used roughly 120 gallons of water in a single day, an excess that makes me very uncomfortable. One thing Ford and I have in common is our preference for our natural or “birthday suit” and I go straight from the bath to bed where I crash -I’ve been up since 4:30 AM!
Now that my Tom Ford time is finished I can definitively say that his schedule with all the baths, focus on clothes and grooming, and espresso did seem pretty extravagant. Being dressed up and more presentable did make me feel more like the 1% and it’s obvious people treat you differently if you’re looking fly (they assume you’re rich). Yet I couldn’t shake the notion that I was just pretending because I couldn’t afford his life. The lack of home gym and personal trainer, holes in my wardrobe, and lack of fine dining habits were huge reminders of that. I know that one day on his routine will not lift me into the 1%, but it’s easy to see how a schedule like this could get me there. After all moguls are not made overnight. Who knows maybe if I stick to his schedule, I could have a Jay-Z song named after me too.
Originally posted at TheKnow
—
Photo by Flickr/noision1
Stay up to date with new stories:
Want the best of The Good Men Project posts sent to you by email? Join our mailing list here.
EMULATION OF A SOCIAL PARASITE IS A WASTE OF YOUR LIE IF ONLY FOR A DAY
A 1/3 pound burger requires 660 gallons of water to produce – so if you are feeling guilty about the baths, remember you could always eat less meat..
GREAT article:) very fun to read
Entertaining article. Seems that the 1% really know how to be completely self-absorbed and wasteful. Do straight 1%ers take five baths a day and moisturize so thoroughly? I guess it’s simply a question of how much you like baths. If anybody gets offended by this, they’re missing the point. One of the most entertaining parts of this article is the comments section. Do men these days really worry so much about how long another guy’s fly is? Or if their tub grout is spotless? If so, this site should be called The Good Milquetoast Project. Go outside. Sweat. Make something.… Read more »
Taking 15 baths a day aint taking you anywhere near the 1%. He probably has some serious skin problem or sweating problem or mental condition or he is absolutely lying about bathing 4 times a day. When I am working I don’t even have time to eat. I get so busy I completely forget food and eat only lunch. When I get home I take a shower and relax. There is no time for bull$hi7 during the day for an adult person. One thing I agree is that rising early is very good. Maybe not 4:30 but rather 5:30-6:00AM is… Read more »
Tom Ford is a wanker and will be dead 20 or 30 years sooner than he ought to be doing this shite. Not one bit of his routine is healthy bar the lunch and the exercise (which he’s doing too often). And he should be hung by a cheap soap-on-a-rope for the offensive wastage of three-four baths per day.
Do not try this at home kids!
Great article, and I’m glad you enjoyed the schedule! I have to consider that the benefit wasn’t in doing the exact things he did, but in living a ‘rich’ lifestyle. That’s not dependent on things, but rather feelings. And from the fact you have humor, a gift for writing and a fiance who cares for you, you’re already in the 1%. Keep up the great work.
I’m doubling over in laughter… Seriously **too funny**!
Thanks for the entertaining read… That’s a ton of water! Yikes…
I have no desire to take that many baths in one day, but I found this very entertaining. The most important takeaway was how to start the day and working throughout the day. Other than that, it sounds like a matter of preference.
I liked this but I need to say this; get new dress pants. The ones in the selfie are too big. The zipper is too long and the pockets are all wrong for you. Go for a slimmer cut with round or slit pockets. You’ll look like a million bucks, I promise 😀
Totally agree with Lula and Jenn – new pants, yours are ill-fitting and bleach your bath man! You’re a great writer though! Loved this x
Loved this article!.you’re a funny guy lol ….you do need to scrub your tub tho 🙂 very enjoyable read!
I got a good kick out of that. Good commentary and humor. Funny shit. I’d subscribe…as long as you know you;re the “fall guy” in these articles.
By God, at first I read Rob Ford instead of Tom Ford, and then at the second point: 8:00 A.M. I work out at a gym at home … I became very puzzled indeed. 😀
Well one thing I’d like to point out is that if you are getting home at 10:30 and taking a bath, that means you’ll be in bed by around 11:00-11:30, and if you get up at 4:30am that leaves you with a measly 5-ish hours of sleep which is NOT enough to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Get home by 10, skip the ridiculous bath, and get up at 5, and you’ll have a much better 7 hours.
Maybe Ben Franklin’s schedule would help you better? Fewer baths. http://flowingdata.com/2011/03/20/daily-schedule-of-benjamin-franklin/
This was one of the most entertaining reads I’ve had in awhile. Loved it!
Me too! So enjoyable.