Was dating a miserable experience for you in 2023?
If that’s the case and you’re feeling slightly anxious about entering the dating scene in 2024, I have three critical areas that I want you to focus on before you say yes to that date.
I’m not promising wedding bells or instant suitors to come knocking at your door after reading this, but I can assure you that by honing in on these areas, you’ll be priming yourself for success.
It’s not a magic formula but rather a helpful guide that can empower you on your journey toward a more fulfilling and promising love life.
With that said, let’s dive into the transformative steps that can redefine your dating experience in the coming year.
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Prioritizing Self-Discovery:
Before getting into a relationship with someone else, you have to understand yourself.
You need to take the time to explore yourself and who you truly are at the core. What are your values? What are you really interested in? What are your personal long-term goals?
Do you actually like Pilates, or do you go because everybody else says it’s the cool thing to do?
Do you even understand what you’re talking about when it comes to politics, or are you just regurgitating what everyone around you is saying?
What is your internal monologue like? Does it sound like you or like the people you follow on social media? Is it kind or aggressive?
Words are powerful, and when we’re incapable of being kind to ourselves, we’re often incapable of being kind to others.
Most people lose themselves in the relationships they get into.
They get lost in the other individual, which could be because they didn’t take the time to establish their own character or because they allowed themselves to get consumed by the relationship.
Focus on yourself before settling into a flow with someone.
Understanding who you are at your core will help you make better choices when it comes to a partner and allow you to show up as your best self, both for your future partner and, most importantly, for yourself.
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Identify Your Negative Patterns From Prior Relationships:
I want you to do a little internal digging. Open the notes app on your phone, or better yet, grab your journal. We’re about to embark on a journey of self-discovery.
Think back to your past relationships and ask yourself: What valuable insights can I gain from being single right now? Is it a conscious choice, or have there been recurring patterns that led to the end of each relationship? Write down your observations.
Consider the following questions:
- What were the commonalities between your past relationships?
- Were there specific behaviors or reactions that caused tension?
- Did you notice any consistent patterns within your romantic, platonic, or family relationships?
For instance, I’ll share a personal revelation: In my relationships, I’ve often found myself jumping to conclusions and assuming the other person intended to hurt my feelings or was trying to be malicious.
Recognizing this pattern has been a key step in my journey towards healthier relationships with others and myself. Now, it’s your turn.
Identify 2–3 key patterns that may have played a role in your past relationship challenges and dig into them this year. This self-awareness is the first step toward breaking those patterns and creating a more positive dating experience.
At the end of the day, you can’t have a healthy and successful relationship with anybody if you don’t take a look at yourself first and work on your problem areas.
This year, I’m focusing on doing less cardio by not jumping to conclusions and loosening my grip on everything. You should see how white my knuckles get when I drive sometimes; it’s almost like I want to crush my own steering wheel.
I don’t want to live like that anymore; I don’t want to feel the need to control every aspect of my life or anybody else’s.
People will do whatever they’re going to do, and it’s not your job to monitor or control them. Let them do what they want, and you can make your judgment call afterward.
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Set Clear Intentions With The People You Choose To Date:
Don’t beat around the bush this year.
Don’t go on dates with losers for the sake of going out or getting a free meal.
Don’t go out out of loneliness.
Don’t text someone because you don’t have anybody else to talk to.
Don’t date someone because you haven’t been on a date in months, and you’re freaking out that the dating pool is getting slimmer by the minute, and you’ll end up alone forever.
Just don’t do it.
Date with intention — and if that intention is having fun and meeting new people, and you feel comfortable doing that because you’re capable of not attaching yourself to someone after 1–2 dates, then by all means, go for it!
But make that intention clear with yourself and the other individual.
Setting clear intentions and having boundaries in place will eliminate unnecessary expectations, which is typically what gets people into trouble.
If you go on a first date with someone, you don’t need to immediately tell them you’re looking to settle down and get married and make it awkward.
Alternatively, you don’t need to tell them that you’re bored and just want to have dinner with someone. Although, if that’s the case, I think you should just go out with your friends, but that’s just my opinion.
Use your common sense when it comes to this, but be proactive and set clear intentions with yourself and the people you choose to spend your time with.
At the end of the day, knowing what you want and being clear on that will contribute to the overall health, happiness and longevity of a relationship.
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To Recap:
If you’re feeling anxious about dating in 2024, don’t be. I want you to focus on the following:
- Get to know yourself. Gain a better understanding of who you are and what you want out of a partnership because embracing your authenticity and knowing what you need is what will allow you to show up as your best selves, inevitably fostering healthier relationships.
- Identify and address negative patterns from past relationships because that is the key to breaking the cycle. By recognizing your own behaviors and actively working on them, you’ll pave the way for more positive interactions and connections.
- And finally, set clear intentions with yourself and the people you choose to date. Setting clear intentions is like creating a roadmap for your dating journey, ensuring you navigate with purpose and authenticity.
I hope this helps, and I hope 2024 is a year of love and growth for you.
Happy dating.
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Get my free wellness e-book designed to help you show up as your best self daily.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
What Does Being in Love and Loving Someone Really Mean? | My 9-Year-Old Accidentally Explained Why His Mom Divorced Me | The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex | The Internal Struggle Men Battle in Silence |
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