In my August 7, 2024 article, “Does Character, Behavior, and Self-Development Define a Man?”, I argued that character, behavior, and self-development do not adequately define a good man. However, when these pursuits are viewed through a Cosmobenefactor perspective, they gain depth and meaning. This perspective, which aligns personal growth with broader societal goals, allows individuals to achieve a more comprehensive and impactful development. It not only benefits the individual but also the world around them. This balanced approach enhances personal fulfillment and contributes to the greater good, providing a compelling answer to the question of self-improvement for what?
Given the profound personal and communal advantages associated with adopting the mindset of a Cosmobenefactor, what is keeping men, and perhaps even you, from embracing this perspective? This article will delve into this query, revealing that some obstacles are not just conscious choices but cultural, unconscious, and insidious.
Having lived in seven countries and worked in several more, including the public and private sectors, I’ve gained a different perspective. This experience has shown that many people do not become Cosmobenefactors or individuals dedicated to positively impacting the world due to various personal and societal barriers. One major reason is fear of failure, where we worry that our efforts may not lead to impactful results, causing us to avoid acting. Additionally, lack of curiosity and limited exposure to broader worldviews may prevent us from seeing the possibilities of making a community or more global impact, leading us to focus on personal or immediate concerns. Comfort with the status quo also deters some of us from stepping outside our comfort zone to engage in larger, world-benefiting actions. Finally, social and cultural pressures can discourage us from pursuing altruistic goals, especially when society emphasizes individual success over collective well-being.
In this article, I want to focus on four intriguing unconscious factors that curtail efforts to positively impact the world: A Kin-centric mindset, living for the grade givers, “the unconscious conspiracy,” and success.
Kin-centric Mindset
Let’s start by exploring the concept of ‘Kin-centric’. The term ‘Kin’ refers to one’s family and relations, while ‘Centric’ implies being centered around or focused on. So, a Kin-centric individual is someone whose focus and priorities revolve primarily around their kin group, which includes close family members and friends.
The well-being and social connections of their immediate family and friend group take precedence over broader societal concerns or contribute to causes that serve the greater good of humanity or the world at large. While not necessarily selfish, a Kin-centric person’s altruistic tendencies and sources of joy are more confined to their kin network than directed outwardly toward philanthropic or humanitarian efforts.
Being extremely Kin-centric while fostering strong family bonds and a deep sense of belonging can also lead to significant personal blind spots and disadvantages. However, it’s important to remember that there is potential for personal growth and individual autonomy outside this focus. By recognizing and addressing these blind spots, individuals can break free from the constraints of this Kin-centric mindset and fully develop their unique talents and potential.
Another disadvantage of extreme Kin-centrism is the potential for insularity and resistance to external influences. A strong emphasis on family can lead to a narrow worldview, where outside perspectives and cultural diversity are undervalued or even mistrusted. This can result in a lack of openness to new ideas, experiences, and relationships outside the immediate family circle. In the long term, this insularity can hinder the ability to adapt to a rapidly changing world, limit social networks, and reduce opportunities for broader social and professional engagements.
Extreme Kin-centrism can significantly discourage the intention of serving the greater good and positively impacting the broader world. When individuals prioritize their kin above all else, their worldview becomes narrowly confined to the well-being and advancement of their familial unit. This insular perspective often neglects broader societal issues and diminishes the motivation to engage in activities that benefit the wider community or humanity as a whole. By placing the needs of their kin at the center of their moral and ethical considerations, individuals may inadvertently overlook or dismiss the importance of contributing to more prominent social, environmental, or global causes.
Living for the Grade-givers
From our early years in traditional schools and universities to entering the workforce, we are taught the importance of working for and receiving good grades. This quest for validation continues in the professional world, where our work environments often mirror the school grading system. In this context, these organizations effectively become our ‘grade-givers ‘, dictating that we dedicate ourselves to pleasing them.
The concept of living for these grade-givers raises questions about purpose and significance. This outward focus can detract from finding meaning and fulfillment in our endeavors, including trying to add to the greater good.
When we let others dictate our actions, we lose touch with our emotions and values. By tuning into our voices and sharing our thoughts, we stay true to ourselves and honor our societal role by contributing something unique.
The Unconscious Conspiracy
In his work, The Unconscious Conspiracy, Warren Bennis describes this concept as a routine that exerts control over our lives by consuming time and energy, hindering the ability to make a significant impact. This ‘conspiracy’ is not a deliberate plot but a set of habits and tasks we often prioritize over more meaningful or impactful activities. For instance, many of us feel compelled to address maintenance tasks (such as paying bills, washing the car, etc.), leading us to prioritize these tasks. Completing maintenance tasks can provide a sense of achievement, masking the reality that another day has passed without progress toward substantial goals or purposes. Furthermore, maintenance tasks are typically easier to manage, preventing individuals from engaging with more critical and complex issues.
While working on my dissertation, I asked people what keeps them from achieving their ideals. I wondered if it was the Unconscious Conspiracy. None mentioned this as an obstacle, but all admitted it was a significant obstacle after they learned about it. However, one diplomat noted that there is an obstacle much more obstructive than The Unconscious Conspiracy: success. Why does achieving success in your professional and professional lives hinder efforts to contribute to the greater good?
Success
I mention success apart from other self-centered pursuits because it is uniquely insidious. Achieving success can sometimes lead to complacency and self-satisfaction, creating a trap. When we succeed in our careers, finances, or personal goals, we focus on preserving these achievements rather than seeking growth or giving back to others.
The more successful we become, the more we focus on the tasks and duties needed to maintain that success. This can lead to a cycle where we are constantly busy with activities that align with our career aspirations, leaving little room for considering broader societal issues or the needs of others. As success grows in our professional domain, we tend to turn inward, becoming more absorbed in our world.
Meeting goals, leading teams, and striving for further accomplishments consume mental and emotional energy. Likewise, personal achievements such as acquiring possessions, receiving promotions, and reaching other career milestones can result in a lifestyle centered on self-fulfillment. This internal focus may reduce awareness of challenges and dampen the motivation to participate in actions that benefit the community at large. Furthermore, societal norms often link success with progress and material prosperity, reinforcing that personal and professional achievement are paramount objectives. This social approval can create an incentive to prioritize success over collective welfare.
Closing comment
These are some of the main obstacles I have observed to be a Good Man Cosmobenefactor. A Kin-centric mindset is one of the most common obstacles in collective cultures such as Ecuador. In contrast, the most common obstacle in more individualistic cultures like the United States appears to be related to self-centered pursuits.
The author:
As a U.S. professor at Universidad San Francisco, Quito, Ecuador, I focus on helping students find meaning in life and navigate their academic and personal uncertainties. My over 25 publications are primarily in psychology and philosophy. My past roles as a senior naval officer, corporate manager, deputy director of a peacekeeping organization, and diplomat-level manager in the United Nations have influenced my perspectives. [email protected] and [email protected]
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This Post is republished on Medium.
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Photo credit: iStock
