'Taking a Break' Is Relationship BS at its Finest

If someone ever asks you to “take a break,” you might consider breaking their nose.

(Kidding.)

But really, I deeply dislike the concept. Like, what does ‘‘taking a break’’ really mean?

It’s not supposed to mean breaking up for good. Because if you meant break up, you’d say break up.

So instead it means…temporarily breaking up? If you ask me, that’s even worse! It leaves you with a bunch of unanswered questions.

Until when, exactly?

Are you allowed to date other people during this interim?

How long does this “break” last?

Is there any guarantee that you will get back together?

As you can tell, the concept of “taking breaks” in relationships does nothing except create chaos and confusion.

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Be decisive, dammit.

There is no good reason for anyone to ever “take a break” from a relationship. It sounds to me like you’re trying to dip your toe into single life with a fallback plan in case it isn’t everything you hoped for.

If you no longer want to be with someone, just break up.

There should be no asterisk or fine print about maybe coming back in the future, if circumstances permit.

Not in this day and age, anyway.

I could understand if it was back in the day when people would move far, far away, or join the army, or go off to university with no real way to contact an old flame.

But hello — we exist in the world of social media, FaceTime, and instant messaging. Today, there is no good reason that you can’t stay in touch with someone, even if you live across the world.

So please, cut the “take a break” bullshit and own up to the fact that you no longer want to be in the relationship.

Or damn well stay in the relationship and work with your partner to adjust expectations.

If the reason you’re asking for a “break” is to adjust to a new living arrangement, a new job, or a major life change, then say that.

Tell your partner that you don’t know how present you will be for them. Communicate that you may have competing priorities.

If they aren’t going to be your number one anymore, you have to let them know.

And let them decide if that’s the quality of relationship they want to remain in.

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Ambiguity never does you any good.

The real reason why this concept is such a problem is that its horrifically ambiguous.

There is no clarity, no comfort in knowing, no established expectations.

It’s a muddled mess of ‘maybe we will, maybe we won’t.’

This works great in the movies or in a romance novel but not in real life.

This mentality leaves people in a state of limbo, where they aren’t sure if they should be moving on or hold out just a little longer to see if their partner comes back.

It’s a catastrophe and a half.

If you claim to care about someone, even just a little bit, you would never want to leave them in a cruel and torturous state of limbo.

And if you want out for good but are just too pathetic to admit it, at least give your partner the respect of communicating that.

You only have two options — stay together or break up. Stay together and be confused, or break up and face the potential of regret. Either way, it’s going to be hard.

You owe it to yourself and to your partner to find clarity.

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