Photo from the film “Creed” nominated as ‘One of the Best Films of the Year’ by Time, People, Entertainment Weekly, and the National Board of Review
In the U.S., we just had Super Bowl LII. I live in New England and have been a Patriots fan since before I could pronounce the word “Patriots.” My team didn’t win the Super Bowl, but it was an unforgettable, gutsy game that will go down in Super Bowl history. In the days leading up to the Super Bowl, during the game, and since the Vince Lombardi Trophy was awarded to first-time Super Bowl winners, the Philadelphia Eagles, I have been thinking about the concept of the inner and outer “opponent”.
As a sports fan, a film I found entertaining and insightful that delved into the subject of opponents is “Creed”, an American sports drama and sequel to the Rocky series. Sylvester Stallone won a Golden Globe and was nominated for an Academy Award for his portrayal of Rocky Balboa, a former World Heavyweight Champion, who serves as trainer and mentor to Adonis Johnson (Michael B. Jordan). Adonis is the son of Rocky’s late friend and former rival, World Heavyweight Champion, Apollo Creed. Adonis didn’t get to know his father, Apollo, because he died in the ring before Adonis was born; but boxing is in his blood, and he naturally uses his fists to deal with life’s issues.
A poignant moment in the film comes when Rocky (Stallone) begins training Adonis (Jordan). Even more important than the pro boxing techniques that Rocky teaches, is the powerful life lesson that he imparts one day in the gym as he asks Adonis to look in the mirror.
Rocky says to Adonis, “You see this guy here staring back at you? That’s your toughest opponent. Every time you get into the ring, that’s who you’re going against. I believe that in boxing and I believe that in life.”
We are all in the ring of life. Every day, with every decision we make, we have a choice. We get to choose whether we are coming from our soul or our ego.
In Kabballah, the ego is called the “opponent.” It is aptly named the “opponent” because the ego’s role is to trick us into reacting to challenging situations that trigger us.
One of my most challenging situations occurred while I was travelling in Australia a number of years ago. I experienced a life-altering sports injury that led to years of chronic pain and regular bouts with the ego—the opponent. I spent years struggling with inner and outer pain until I hit rock bottom.
It was only then that I stopped and looked in the mirror. I looked deep into my eyes that were being reflected back in the mirror. I looked deep into my soul, beyond my outer circumstances…beyond anger, fear, depression, and feelings of hopelessness. I looked beyond the question that I had asked constantly, “Why me?” I tapped into the quiet place where there is no pain. From that place, I came to know that everything is possible. I began to look at the big picture and realized that everything happens for a reason. I began to understand that my challenges were really a blessing—my challenges inspired my transformation. I got on a cellular level the expression that “from our biggest challenges come our biggest rewards.”
I began to realize how important it is for me to pay it forward. This realization led to me expressing creatively through music. I began writing and performing. My music became the container for messages that are intended to inspire those who listen. Becoming a columnist for The Good Men Project resulted from making the choice that day to look in the mirror and go deep into my soul. That day I made an internal decision from my soul to be a good man and pay if forward. I prevailed over the opponent who was dragging me down a road of despair.
I wrote a song “On My Side” that speaks about facing whatever we are thrown in life, and about coming to the knowing that we are not alone, and that love is on our side. I invite you to listen here.
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Matthew Wade of My Silent Bravery
I am conscious that with each action, with each decision, we can let the ego—the opponent win. Or, we can let the soul win—the good man, the good woman that is in each one of us.
My bet is on the good man—the good woman—the real you—the one who is the embodiment of real power—your soul. The divine One who lives in each of us and who is a witness to the ego.
We each have a purpose—a mission in this world. Our soul has brought us here to experience certain things and to accomplish our mission. It’s up to us to go for it—to play full out—to go beyond the ego—the fears, insecurities, doubts. To look in the mirror and go deep. To witness and bypass the opponent so that we don’t get played. To go to that place where the opponent in non-existent. That place where the only thing that exists is love and divine stillness.
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Lyrics for “On My Side” by My Silent Bravery
I’m having trouble believing, won’t you send me a sign
And quiet the voice that’s repeating in the back of my mind
That says I can’t do it, that I can’t get it right
Time to push forward, no more pushing rewind
One by one, I’ll face whatever you throw me
One by one, we all fight to survive
I’m on my own, but I’m no longer ignoring
That I’m not alone, I’ve got your love on my side
On my side, on my side
When I’m wrong, when I’m right
When I’m dull, when I shine
On my side, on my side
The question we are obsessed with is why we’re alive
You see it your way and I see it mine
They say that beauty is in the beholder’s eye
And you can manifest destiny if you try
One by one, I’ll face whatever you throw me
One by one, we all fight to survive
I’m on my own, but I’m no longer ignoring
That I’m not alone, I’ve got your love on my side
On my side, on my side
When I’m wrong, when I’m right
When I’m dull, when I shine
On my side, on my side
I’ve got my battle armor on and I am ready to fight
For my brother, I would gladly give my own life
Strength of my father and my mother help to get me through the night
When I’m gone I hope my children will remember what I’m like
One by one, I’ll face whatever you throw me
One by one, we all fight to survive
I’m on my own, but I’m no longer ignoring
That I’m not alone, I’ve got your love on my side
On my side, on my side
When I’m wrong, when I’m right
When I’m dull, when I shine
On my side, on my side
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Photo: YouTube from the film “Creed” nominated as ‘One of the Best Films of the Year’ by Time, People,
Entertainment Weekly, and the National Board of Review