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To Anyone Feeling Single and Lonely. . . [Video]

If we can just make this world a little bit less lonely for each other, we can literally save lives.

August 8, 2021 by Matthew Hussey Leave a Comment

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In this week’s video, I’m asked what my “why” is—what motivates me to keep doing what I do. And my answer often comes as a surprise: to help people feel less alone.

Just because many single people feel lonely doesn’t mean the two need to go hand in hand.

I sometimes get tired of the “peak performance” rhetoric where everything is about productivity at the highest level. It devalues the importance of just feeling okay and connected and loved, especially during moments of pain or loneliness.

It’s my hope that today’s video encourages you and helps you realize that you’re not alone. If we can just make this world a little bit less lonely for each other, we can literally save lives.

Here for you,

Matthew x

P.S. Sometimes even the smallest gestures can make a huge difference. I’d love it if you left me a comment letting me know something someone did for you that made you feel less lonely or more connected

Transcript provided by YouTube:

00:00

tanya what’s your question so i’ve

00:02

followed you for a lot of years and

00:04

you’ve evolved your brand and

00:06

what you do and what you offer and i

00:07

love that it’s more encompassing than it

00:10

was just how to get the guy what

00:12

motivates you

00:13

what’s your why and what keeps you

00:16

coming here and thank you for your time

00:19

today thank you wow that’s a lovely

00:21

question to start with i am

00:22

thank you for saying that my why is i

00:26

think that um i think we’re incredibly

00:29

lonely

00:31

i think we’re more lonely than we let on

00:34

uh i think we live in a world that poses

00:37

as a less lonely world than we’ve ever

00:39

had

00:40

that is masking for the most lonely

00:42

world we’ve ever had

00:45

and that concerns me and i know that i

00:51

i know that when i’m here in this room

00:53

with you guys

00:56

it is exciting to me and nourishing to

00:59

me

00:59

and healing to me to be in a room of

01:02

people

01:03

all expressing in some form or another

01:07

their pain their vulnerability

01:10

who they are that i get to express my

01:12

vulnerability that

01:14

we get to be in this together because

01:16

it’s not [ __ ] easy

01:18

like life’s not easy and i just

01:22

you know anthony bourdain was one of my

01:26

heroes

01:28

you know and he killed himself and

01:31

[Music]

01:33

you look at this and you think what is

01:34

happening like what is going on in these

01:37

moments of pain

01:39

these extremes of pain and loneliness

01:41

and despair that

01:43

make us rid ourselves of this amazing

01:45

thing but it doesn’t always feel amazing

01:47

life doesn’t always feel amazing life

01:49

can really suck so badly

01:52

and it can be terrible so i’m not just

01:56

you know i i sometimes get a bit bored

01:58

of the peak performance rhetoric

02:01

where everything is all about peak

02:02

performance peak performance peak

02:03

performance productivity productivity

02:05

productivity living life at the highest

02:07

level

02:08

okay but you know what a lot of life

02:11

is making it is making ourselves feel

02:15

okay and connected and loved when it’s

02:19

feels unbearable

02:23

i just love that we all get to be

02:24

together and share in that

02:27

and i think it’s deeply sad there’s

02:29

something deeply

02:31

existentially sad about what i do in the

02:33

sense that

02:35

we’re looking for for a love

02:38

as you know a soulmate whatever you want

02:40

to call it and

02:42

we want that person right

02:45

we want that person and we want it

02:48

because we have so much love to give

02:50

it’s not just what we want we we have

02:52

all this energy this romantic energy

02:54

that would be fun

02:56

would be beautiful to put into someone

02:58

and

02:59

it’s like having this it’s like drinking

03:02

a coffee in the morning and have nothing

03:03

to do with all of that energy

03:06

because you know you want to give it to

03:07

someone you know you have so much more

03:09

to give than what you’re giving right

03:10

now because you have no object to

03:12

to direct it towards and and that can

03:15

make many of us sad uh

03:18

and especially as we go through lives

03:20

and we get older we start looking at the

03:21

years that we could be spending with

03:23

someone and we’re like why not now

03:26

but when we share that

03:31

and when we talk about that and when we

03:32

voice it and when we come together in a

03:34

room like this

03:36

i just think we feel better about that

03:39

we get to feel like oh i’m not the only

03:42

great person

03:45

who’s finding my way here look at all

03:47

these quality people look at all these

03:49

beautiful faces look at all these

03:50

accomplished women look at all these

03:52

amazing people

03:53

intelligent people that makes me feel

03:56

less alone

03:58

look how many awesome people are in the

03:59

same boat

04:02

that’s fine so let’s talk about it let’s

04:05

be together

04:06

you know that to me is more important

04:08

than any bit of wisdom

04:10

that i could give is let’s have a place

04:12

where we can all come and

04:14

just be that energy together

04:17

because if we can make the world a

04:19

little bit less lonely

04:21

for each other that not to be too

04:25

grandiose but

04:26

that saves lives genuinely saves lives

04:51

you

—

This post was previously published on YouTube.

***

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About Matthew Hussey

Relationship Expert Matthew Hussey
Matthew Hussey is the world’s leading dating expert for women.

For the past 8 years he has coached millions of women around the world to help them get the love lives of their dreams.

He is a New York Times bestselling author, he has his own national radio show, he’s been given his own television show, Rachael Ray, Katie Couric, Ryan Seacrest, Meredith Vieira, Elvis Duran, Match.com and many others frequently invite him to share his advice.

Matthew is also a monthly relationship advice columnist for Cosmopolitan Magazine and the dating expert on ABC’s digital series What To Text Him Back.

He’s had the privilege of working with royalties and celebrities like Christina Aguilera and Eva Longoria. He’s also coached over 100,000 women in his live seminars and his training videos have reached over 217,000,000 women around the world.

Connect with him on Facebook, Twitter @MatthewHussey, and on his website, HowToGetTheGuy.com.

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