Sometimes there is an appearance that seems so good and so appealing to you. This person seems to be of such high character. That person seems so totally sweet. This person reminds you of someone you used to be friends with. This person shares an interest with you that not a lot of people in your life share. Whatever. The person or group of people look to be of good substance and you take that risk of getting to know someone new.
But when your first impression is replaced with more concrete experiences of what it is like to be with that person(s), you should listen! Your life has value. Your experiences have value. The thoughts that you have that you can’t always put into words but still come to a conclusion within yourself about something can be very helpful to you.
So, let’s play both sides of the coin. Let’s say you back away from someone who is legitimately good. Good people know that the world is full of uncertainty and we are each doing the best that we can. Maybe they will scratch their head for a minute at actions they did not expect from you, but they will get over it. They surround themselves with quality people of quality perspectives that will inform their actions of being gracious to you and of moving on with their own lives.
Let’s say you back away from someone who is not all they appeared to be. They will most likely lash out at you in some manner because they are angry that you saw through their façade. Don’t give a crap.
Perhaps they will have an excessively sad reaction to try to play with your feelings, maybe they will work that good ole guilt and shame that is a favorite of manipulators, or maybe they will become aggressive. This is always what was coming for you from the moment when you met them and they sized you up to be nothing more than an object they wanted to mess with for their own selfish purposes. There was no good that was going to come out of this and they are just upset that you figured it out so early. The person not being able to easily move on from your brief interaction with them is an indicator that they quickly became very emotionally invested in doing something selfish against you that was on its way to bringing hurt to you.
There are times when you don’t have to wait for time to tell you the whole story. You know enough and it is time to act on it. Thank you to men, especially one recently, who have given me the safety of excellent advice. You’ve got this!
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