As of this writing, I am forty-one. Together with my wife, we have four exceptional children. Gabe, my oldest, is starting to drive. The youngest still sleeps in our bed and occasionally pees in the middle of the night. I wake up in the morning, make coffee, and go to work. The bills are paid, and money is in the bank. Anyone looking in from the outside would agree that I have a pretty nice life.
However, the truth can be stranger than fiction. Often I think to myself, “how did I get here?” And more often than not, “how is this real?” The truth is that I have lived most of my life with anxiety and depression. When things look so good, I am actively managing my mental illness.
Over time, I have come to accept the weather. I have trained myself to see my anxiety and depression as storm clouds in the vast space of the blue sky. There is a lot of comfort in knowing that the storm cannot destroy the sky. Let me explain.
# The mind is a clear blue sky
The idea behind this technique actually comes from a mindfulness practice. In this practice, we imagine our mind has the nature of a clear blue sky. A clear blue sky is calm, relaxing, and, most importantly, peaceful. This is the true nature of your mind.
Even if it does not seem like your mind is calm, it is beneficial for our purposes to imagine that it is the clear blue sky.
Now, we can imagine what it is like when a thunderstorm appears. The storm seems dangerous, and sometimes it can be loud with large light flashes. Even though the storm looks as if it can damage the sky, it has no real power to change its nature. The storm will eventually roll along and dissipate. This storm is your anxiety, depression, etc.
# Developing stage
You might say, “I can’t do this practice.” I would respond by saying that if I can do it, you can too.
A collection of events in my early years, including abuse at home and making bad decisions, brought me to the unavoidable diagnosis of major depression and schizoaffective disorder. As things heated up, the repercussions included dropping out of high school, multiple hospitalizations, and a nasty addiction issue that lasted well into my adult years. When I said earlier that I often ask myself if my current life is real, it is because I never thought in a million years that I would be where I am today. Honestly, if you ask most of my family members, they are just as surprised.
I believe that anyone can do this practice and see the benefits.
# A plug and play technique
Taking this technique, we can plug it into almost any experience and situation and apply it to most all emotions and mental states.
I have used the practice and applied it to my depression in the past. More recently, however, I have applied to it anxiety surrounding work.
Due to the pandemic, the industry I work in has seen unprecedented changes. Many folks I know in this industry have lost their jobs. As you can imagine, this would cause anyone to experience anxiety. Instead of pushing the stress away and pretending like it is not there, I can call it out for what it really is – a passing storm.
# Dissipating stage
Something interesting happens when we decide to take action and recognize the truth. We become peaceful. The more relaxed we become, the easier it is to make rational decisions.
Take an example from your own life. Imagine some anxiety or stressor appearing like a storm, then denying that it is there and trying to push it away. It is impossible. In fact, we become more frightened and plunge into the idea that this storm will hurt the clear sky.
Now take that example and tell yourself, “yes, there is a storm, but it is only a storm.” Feel the difference between the two approaches? The storm begins to dissipate.
# After the storm
What is so remarkable about this practice is that you can do it anywhere. Plus, it is easy. Whether or not you have practiced meditation in the past, this is a simple exercise using your imagination. You can even try it in the office, at home, or even sitting in your car.
In fact, I often practice while sitting in my car. I hope you find this practice as helpful as I do and that you enjoy a peaceful after-the-storm moment.
How ShareSpace can help.
If you are looking for a way to use your writing and connect with others to combat loneliness – check out the new platform and app ShareSpace.
ShareSpace is a new communication space designed to help mental health, wellness, and personal growth. People in the ShareSpace community can share, learn, and engage with experts and each other.
I’ve been using the app to connect with others and learn new ways to cope with my anxiety and depression. Since getting together in person can be challenging, it’s nice to be able to pick up my phone to ask a question or just to get things off my chest.
Plus, I’ve created a group called Making Friends With Depression. In the group, I’m sharing techniques I’ve used along the way to help me in my healing journey.
You can find me on ShareSpace at cminguez. I hope you’ll sign up!
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On a mobile device? Click here to download the ShareSpace app now!
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Click here to learn more about ShareSpace, a well-being communication space for mental
health improvement and personal growth based on sharing, learning, and engaging with
experts and each other.
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