In Writer and Director Dan Trachtenberg’s Predator: Badlands (2025), Predator Yautja warrior Dek, played by Dimitrius Schuster-Koloamatangi, saves Synthetic android Thia, played by Elle Fanning. Thia tells Dek, “On Earth, there’s a predator known as the wolf. They hunt in packs. Their leader is the Alpha. The Alpha isn’t the wolf who kills the most. He’s the one, who best protects the pack.”
In the human lexicon, the Alpha is the exaggeratedly aggressive individual, like the Alpha Male, who must prove they’re the best, better than everyone else. They have to let them know that, too. It’s all about the Alpha, not about others. All about ego. All for show. Not at all what matters.
I believe the Alpha is the Protector. What should to be. Life isn’t all about me. It’s about others. That they become as great as they can be.
As a little boy, Dad scared the hell out of me. Whatever I did or didn’t do only made him so angry at me. I never knew which. I only knew I was not the son, Dad wanted. I was his greatest disappointment in life. I was so very sad.
I looked up to Dad. He was my Dad. I felt betrayed. Dad was supposed to protect me, be my Protector. Instead, he scared me to my soul. I had to watch what did and didn’t do. I had to be careful what I asked him, when I asked him. I got that I was a fucking loser. I had to prove that I was good enough for most of my adult life. Prove that I was good enough for Dad to love me.
When I was 12 years old, Mom made me take Aikido. I had no choice. Mom wanted me to learn self-defense to protect myself. She chose Aikido, because it wasn’t offensive minded with punches and kicks like Karate. Although Mom forced me to take Aikido, I loved it. I was the short, fat, ugly geek, who wasn’t good at any sports. Somehow, Aikido clicked. It worked for me. Somehow, I worked too.
I think I got as good as I could at Aikido, so that I could stand up to Dad. So that he couldn’t fuck with anymore. I was the scared little boy, who kept all my anger and fear inside. In Aikido, I could let go my fear and anger inside in a constructive way. More importantly, I learned discipline, honor, and respect.
After 2 years of training, I quit Aikido when I attended Iolani School, the prestigious private college prep school, that my parents paid a lot of money for at the time. I thought I had to focus all my efforts on school. I wasn’t strong. I wasn’t good-looking. Being smart was all I had. At least, I thought so back then.
After Graduate School, I worked in Los Angeles as a satellite systems engineer. I resumed Aikido training. The late Mizukami Sensei taught me for over 25 years, until he passed away. In the beginning, Sensei got that I had to prove I was not a loser. He saw deep inside I feared I’m not good enough.
Mizukami Sensei said, “Just train.” I didn’t have to get somewhere or be someone else. For the first time in my life, I could just be me. That was good enough. I put my head down. Put in the work. I listened to Sensei as best as I could. I worked on myself, not on others. Practice makes the unnatural natural. I’m Godan (5th degree black belt), because of Mizukami Sensei and Ishibashi Sensei. Mizukami Sensei taught both Ishibashi Sensei and me.
In Aikido, Mizukami Sensei taught, “Wait it out. Enter the attack. Take a glancing blow if you have to. You’re always going to get away scot-free. It’s one time.” I trained to take a hit, take a risk for what’s meaningful to me. Sensei was a father to me. He taught me what it is to be a good man, be of service to others, and make a difference.
Life can be strange and beautiful. Over the years, Dad became the weakened old man in his failing body and mind. Because of what Mizukami Sensei taught me, I was Dad’s Protector. Although Dad never was my Protector when I was a little boy, what I needed most from him. The past is the past. Lady MacBeth said, “What’s done cannot be undone.” I let it go. I was his Protector. It felt right. It was right.
For 17 years, Dad and I went salmon fishing in Kenai, Alaska. Dad passed away several years later. As we sat together on the fishing boat on the Kenai River, Dad was under my watch. I was his Protector. Dad was the old man, who worked so hard his entire life to provide for the family. He did the best he could. I loved Dad. We were both imperfectly human.
Ishibashi Sensei said, “The purpose of Aikido is to release your fear.” He said, “The safest place to be is under the attack, in the danger.” When the bigger stronger man attacks, I wait it out, and enter the attack. I make my distance. Make my timing. I hold my position under the attack, in the danger. That’s the safest place to be. I open up. I let go my fear inside that I’m not good enough. Although my fear inside never completely disappears, every time I enter what I fear, I let go more of my fear inside me. I free myself. I protect myself. I protect others, who cannot protect themselves. I’m the Protector.
In Aikido, Ishibashi Sensei and I teach kids to be their Alpha, their Protector. They train to enter the attack, get in the danger, and let go their fear inside. Their fear inside that “I’m not good enough.” Their fear inside that “I can’t.” They apply the Aikido technique on themselves, not on the attacker, not on others. O-Sensei Morihei Ueshiba said, “True victory is victory over oneself.” The kids overcome themselves. They protect themselves. They become their Protectors.
We’re always our greatest opponent in life. We overcome ourselves, not others. We let go our fear inside ourselves over, and over, and over again. We free ourselves. We can become the Protector. We can make a difference. Just train.
