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Whatever it is that you want to achieve in life, whether it be losing weight, making more money, being less stressed, or whatever, it is first necessary to make our marriages a priority.
When we get married, we take our vows. We all know how it goes,”for richer for poorer, for sickness and in health, etc…” And, once we take these vows, we say that two become one.
Two humans become one unit. Literally. And, a unit does not function apart. Only together.
So, if you want to achieve anything, you must work on your marriage first.
If you want to be strong in life, you need to be strong in your marriage first.
Oftentimes, we think it’s not a big deal to not go on a date or to not spend a few minutes of time with our spouse.
And, yes, it’s not a big deal if you miss a day or two of not connecting with your spouse. But, when that becomes 100 days, or even months, of not spending one-on-one time with your spouse, it is a big deal.
So, how do you ensure that your marriage is a priority?
Here are 3 rules of thumb.
1. Get a babysitter
When is the last time you’ve been on a date? I know. We could use every excuse in the book to not go out on a date. We are busy. It’s expensive. I get it. We pay our babysitter $15/hour. By the time we pay her, pay for dinner/drinks, and maybe take an Uber ride, it turns out to be an expensive night.
But, it is an absolute necessity.
Date nights at home are fine from time to time. But, there is something to be said for getting out, getting dressed, and making a single transaction with a babysitter (who isn’t a family member) so that no strings are attached.
And, now let me ask you this: When is the last time you’ve been on an overnight?
My kids are still pretty young, so we don’t take overnights that often. Maybe twice a year. But, even one night out away from your kids for 24 hours can bring so much life back into your marriage.
2. Take time daily to communicate
So, now that you are going on dates regularly (I like to recommend at least twice per month,) I want you to start communicating daily with your spouse to ensure that you are on the same page.
This is not sending him an email with your schedule for the week. Or, talking over the kids’ conversations during dinnertime.
I mean one-on-one, face-to-face communication with no outside distractions.
This can literally be talking to each other for 15 minutes a night after the kids are in bed.
I promise it really only takes 15 minutes. Turn off your phone, turn off the TV and catch up for a little bit. And once you’ve spent some time connecting with one another, then veg out with your favorite show.
3. Speak up
If something is bothering you, remember to speak up.
Of course, you always want to “pick your battles.” But, holding in the little “pet peeves” can grow into really big wars eventually.
Maybe after talking about what’s bothering you, the two of you will come to an agreement. Because, understanding and validation can be so underrated in relationships.
Make your marriage a priority again
So, start incorporating date nights again. And, get an overnight trip on the calendar. Communicate. About the good and bad things that are going on in life.
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Photo: Getty Images