scary peroxide blonde with huge breasts prances around
with a leather belt attached to her neck like a leash
smiles as she invites men to whip her bare ass.
klansman in white hood + robes fucks
laughing black girl in cheap motel room
oriental woman bound + gagged chained to a wheel
spins around little whips flick at her naked skin
skinny little effeminate man he looks sick suspended by
his arms from the ceiling
red plastic ball taped into his mouth
angry woman what a nazi
hits him tells him he’s shit
later on two big guys rape him.
video tapes + magazines
organized by special interest
bisexuals lesbians she-males frat boys
big tits butt fucks blow jobs fat women
bondage rape + torture
it all looks like pain to me tonight.
every face in every picture says
love me i’m bad i hate myself
hurt me let me hurt you
i need to feel something i’m helpless take me
i need to feel loved
if we hurt each other we will feel loved.
gay straight fat black white
men + women bound + gagged
wounded + desperate
unloved children in grown-up bodies.
soul abuse arousal.
most of all the bondage
intense photos on video boxes
women strapped to boards
bound in leather + ropes
contorted + tied into pretzel shapes
gagged with large red rubber balls in their mouths
fear in their eyes
hurt me i like it i like to be hurt
it’s ok to hurt other people
they want you to hurt them
they get off on it.
angry aroused curious outraged confused
I want to see this
no I don’t
just a little
I’ve seen enough
this time I can’t do it
I can’t watch this or bring it into my home
without violating that little boy inside
hasn’t there been enough of that already?
I’m drawn like a moth to a headlight
like a cat into a
warm engine spinning radiator fan
on a cold winter morning.
this stuff appeals to everything that’s
wounded + dysfunctional in me
prepackaged soul abuse
does any of this turn you on
I used to think those people on the corner were nuts
pornography is child abuse
don’t take my word for it
see for yourself.
women + children don’t count for much in this culture
I’m not kidding check it out.
all this + still I have a need
I go home disgusted go to bed
jack off thinking about an old girl friend
somebody else’s wife
not very satisfying at all.
I used to feel guilty + relieved after masturbation
now I just wish I’d done something else instead.
Excerpted from Iron Man Family Outing: Poems about Transition into a More Conscious Manhood by Rick Belden. Copyright © 1990, 2008 by Rick Belden. All rights reserved. www.rickbelden.com
Read more by Rick Belden: safe sexx confession
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