Tony the Tiger: Dude’s grrr-eat. What’s not to love?
Captain Crunch: Seems pretty chill for a military man.
Count Chocula: He’s an enigma to me, but I’ve always gotten along well with the goths.
Maybes:
Sugar Bear: Sure, he sounds like a racist pimp character in a bad 70s movie, but I’m sure he has some cool stories.
Cookie Crisp Bandit: I’d keep an eye on my wallet, but otherwise might be cool.
Buzz Bee: I’m not allergic, so I guess so.
Probably Nots:
Lucky the Leprechaun: Hoarder. Always thinks people are trying to steal his shit. Maybe on St. Patrick’s Day, but even then I’d be wary.
Toucan Sam: Yeah, dude. I know what your nose is really following….
Hard Nos:
Trix Rabbit: Dude is the meth-head of cereal mascots. NOPE!
Sonny the Cuckoo: Do you want to be there when the bird loses his shit for those freaking puffs?
Fred Flintstone: If I wanted to drink with a caveman, I’d go to the local Hooters. (OH, SNAP!)
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How about you? Which lord of the breakfast table would you most want to hang out with?
About Allan Mott
Allan Mott was once accused of being a narcissistic goth lesbian by a disgruntled Amazon reviewer. That pretty much sums up his writing career (which includes 12 and 1/2 books and frequent contributions to such sites as XOJane, XOJaneUK, Canuxploitation, Bookgasm and Flick Attack,). His most personal writing can be found at VanityFear.com, where he uses the subject of B-Movies to mostly talk about boobs and stuff. Tweet him on the Twitter at @HouseofGlib.
In the realm of ‘too serious change your shit life altering’ articles that seem to tell me everything that is wrong or what I should be doing, this article was like drinking the milk after wolfing down a bowl of Count Chocula.
I’m down with you on meeting the Count. The realm of Chocula must be magnificent and I would want to hear all about it.
Tony the Tiger …I think he’s be a hoot with a couple of drinks under his belt. I’m working off memory because we Tivo everything we watch,so we fast forward through commercials.
In the realm of ‘too serious change your shit life altering’ articles that seem to tell me everything that is wrong or what I should be doing, this article was like drinking the milk after wolfing down a bowl of Count Chocula.
I’m down with you on meeting the Count. The realm of Chocula must be magnificent and I would want to hear all about it.
Tony the Tiger …I think he’s be a hoot with a couple of drinks under his belt. I’m working off memory because we Tivo everything we watch,so we fast forward through commercials.