This year has been a teacher. I often say that I must be getting training to be head of a Fortune 500 company. Jokingly of course. Then again, I can’t know that won’t happen. I’m certainly learning this for something bigger.
This is because I’ve had one big issue after another!
People tell me I’m tough! I feel a bit offended by that. How am I tougher than anyone else? I haven’t a clue? I do what is in front of me without mind mood-altering substances.
When someone asks me how do I cope. How do I still find happiness in the middle of all this stress, trauma, tragedy for lack of a better term?
First I’ve done so much work on my beliefs, this is a huge, huge reason. The more crap we hold inside and vice down, the harder it is to cope. Why? Because we only have so much room in the closet. Something is going to seep out.
Has it seeped out for me this year, yes it has! I pause to ask myself why did I just do that, say that….. Take a moment to reflect.
For me, reflection used to take days at times. Now it can happen pretty fast. Sometimes in a flash.
Basically, it’s about how do you stay happy or find happiness in the midst of trauma, stress, severe events in your life?
This is what works for me:
• Stop during the day and especially when it is feeling the heaviest and look at something that brings peace, happiness and breathe it in. For me, it is the mountains that surround me. I have instant peace for a moment
• Do the things that bring you joy even if you don’t feel like it
• Slow down
• Become aware of your thoughts write them down
• Ask yourself if life was to end in this moment you are feeling so overwhelmed if this issue would matter
• Read poems, watch movies, read books that bring you to your heart ( often we shut that part down when we need it most)
• Get it out! Write, post, talk to someone about it- keeping it in can cause it to ruminate in your mind
• Use the time you are thinking about the problem as an opportunity to solve it. Not just feel bad about it. You do not need to try to make it go away with positivity you can welcome it and listen to it, help solve it.
• Breath, Breath, Breath and deeply as often as you can!! This is actually the #1 thing to do! I put it here to make sure it is skimmed over while scrolling
• Find something to laugh about!!! Laugh! Laugh! Dance! Even in private, it changes your brain! Listen to songs that bring joy!!!
• Exercise as much as you can- your brain will resist it- do it anyway! Treat yourself as a small child that needs to do something that is good for them and doesn’t want to do! Be the parent!
• Space! Space! Space! In between moods….. I acknowledge that I’m feeling Sh**ty and when I’m feeling a bit better I pause as long as I can to actually take in the fact that I have a bit less stress and savor it
• Cry- if you can- when you can
• I yell when I need to! My body and mind is needing to empty the trash! Help it! Watch to make sure you do not feel shame for doing what you do for yourself. It’s more likely to happen when we feel it is not ok and then it comes out at the worst times.
• Whatever I’m feeling is perfectly perfect! The most depressing attitude is I shouldn’t………… be ……………
• Body work if you can swing it! Meditation and helping to feel in your body
Being aware of the fact this is difficult is a very kind thing to do for yourself!
Possibly being tough is just about how we cope with difficult events! It’s seeing things through regardless of how hard it feels right now. It’s moving towards the light at the end of the tunnel. It’s not allowing it to take your joy from you!
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Photo by Scott Eckersley on Unsplash