Do you ever find it shocking hearing a story of a friend stuck on someone for whom they’re not receiving reciprocated interest?
After a while, it becomes somewhat laughable. Maybe, you are that friend.
I can give you some relief because I am not laughing at you. By the end of this article, I better be laughing with you.
I have been in your position before; you meet someone and have a great conversation. Maybe, you’ve exchanged numbers.
Then, boom!
It dies out of nowhere. You don’t receive a text back, plans get canceled, and sometimes the extreme; you get ghosted.
What would you do if I told you there was a way you could avoid ever having to deal with this again? Or at least not be hurt by it?
I can’t magically make your dream partner appear in front of your face, but I can show you how to dodge a bullet.
…
For every action, there is a reaction
I bet you’re one of those who don’t like to play games and want to be upfront about showing your interest in someone.
The problem is that you have given your cards away too fast.
Imagine going to a car dealership, and the sticker price says 20,000$, and you pay 20,000$ without negotiating because it was what you were willing to spend.
Stay with me.
You could have gone to that dealership and said you were interested in buying with no price point exposed. The dealer jumps through hoops to get you into a car.
The same works in your romantic life; you must express interest without racing to the finish line to close a deal.
It is a subconscious behavior, but when someone knows they have your interest with little to nothing to lose, they won’t engage with making sure they stay in communication with you.
It is ok to be the first to send a text, but when that conversation is over, wait for them to engage with you. Keep conversations short; don’t become a pen pal.
The first step in avoiding rejection is to have a picture of how engaged someone is in the beginning.
…
Quit dreaming
Please, drop the fantasy and illusion of who somebody is.
You get hurt in pursuit of your romantic interests because you are getting caught up in the façade of what you want someone to be rather than who they have shown you to be.
That beautiful (insert pronoun) person hasn’t done much to prove that they deserve to be on the pedestal you put them on.
Tons of people are fun, pleasant, and full of characteristics you find in the average person with a conscience.
Again, back to the subconscious mind, you boost and elevate people with minimal proof that they fulfill what you’re looking to find because you desperately want it to be true.
Chill!
It is crazy how skeptical people are in every realm of their lives except romantically. Once someone has shown you something that confirms your beliefs, make sure they show you again.
…
Gone with the wind
I will keep this simple because it is difficult for people. Don’t ever chase, and always be willing to walk away.
Your mind tells you to check in and ensure you are visible and present. Do the exact opposite.
Your most attractive trait is to retain your value, and your worth is at its lowest when you chase and go into panic mode.
Does someone stop communicating with you out of the blue? Leave, don’t come back. That date you tried to set up got flaked on twice? Bye, you’re gone.
Walking away is going to do two things you never imagined:
- You are relieved of the stress and anxiety thinking about someone who is not reciprocating your effort.
- You realize that the chase and pursuit were a waste of your time.
Do you know what happens next? You meet someone else.
I know; when is someone else going to come along? Who cares. You will be shocked at how peaceful your life is when you take your power and value back.
…
I bet you might have been reading and thinking that I’d write some fluffy article about how to get out of the friend zone or how to trick someone into liking you.
Nope.
The article is about avoiding rejection by making sure you don’t set yourself up to be in the position to be rejected.
Do you want to know the truth?
Everyone won’t like you. Stick to those who do.
—
This post was previously published on medium.com.
***
***
If you believe in the work we are doing here at The Good Men Project, please support our mission and join us as a Premium Member.
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS. Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
Talk to you soon.
You Might Also Like These From The Good Men Project
Compliments Men Want to Hear More Often | Relationships Aren’t Easy, But They’re Worth It | The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex | ..A Man’s Kiss Tells You Everything |
Photo credit: Javier Martínez on Unsplash