In terms of narcissistic abuse and relational trauma, I think these three pillars apply.
Why Narcissists Don’t Tend to Seek Treatment
The difference between something being ego-syntonic and it being ego-dystonic.
The difference between something being ego-syntonic and it being ego-dystonic.
You Are Somebody
As I work with targets of narcissistic abuse in my coaching practice, this is often the core work to be done.
As I work with targets of narcissistic abuse in my coaching practice, this is often the core work to be done.
Five Part Strategy for Removing a Narcissistic Boss
Do NOT let the toxic person know what you are planning.
Do NOT let the toxic person know what you are planning.
A Strange and (Possibly) Entertaining Story
In which I am the unexpected dupe in a rental scam–and I still don’t know who was responsible. Was it my toxic ex or was he a dupe as well?
In which I am the unexpected dupe in a rental scam–and I still don’t know who was responsible. Was it my toxic ex or was he a dupe as well?
Ten Things I’ve Learned About Narcissism Along the Way
It’s everywhere.
It’s everywhere.
Is It Synchronicity or Love Bombing? How Do You Know?
It’s just a way they get people hooked. But of course for the target, it feels real.
It’s just a way they get people hooked. But of course for the target, it feels real.
Learning to Be Ok With Guilt
Are you stuck in a toxic relationship because of your own uncomfortable feelings?
Are you stuck in a toxic relationship because of your own uncomfortable feelings?
The Myth of the Frog in Boiling Water
We normalize things and adapt ourselves in order to get through the day.
We normalize things and adapt ourselves in order to get through the day.
How Narcissists Use the Idea of Scarcity to Hook You
Scarcity: the gap between limited—that is, scarce—resources and theoretically limitless wants.
Scarcity: the gap between limited—that is, scarce—resources and theoretically limitless wants.
No, I Didn’t ‘Pick Him’
Narcissists, my friends, are typically very, very good at appearing to be the color we want.
Narcissists, my friends, are typically very, very good at appearing to be the color we want.
Teaching Pigs to Sing
Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and it annoys the pig.
Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and it annoys the pig.
Is It Time to Stop Using the Term Codependent?
Wounded people attract narcissists, and their innate codependency is what keeps the target stuck.
Wounded people attract narcissists, and their innate codependency is what keeps the target stuck.
The Narcissist’s Prayer
Not that they would have one, because they believe they are entitled to all of it — attention, accolades, accomplishments.
Not that they would have one, because they believe they are entitled to all of it — attention, accolades, accomplishments.
Taking Responsibility for Things That Are Not Ours
It’s no more enlightened, good, moral, “aware,” etc. to take responsibility for things that you did not source than it is to avoid responsibility for things that you did.
It’s no more enlightened, good, moral, “aware,” etc. to take responsibility for things that you did not source than it is to avoid responsibility for things that you did.
How Narcissists Use the Rule of Reciprocity to Manipulate You
The Rule of Reciprocity (RoR) is a a powerful social norm that says that if someone does something for you, you tend to feel obligated to return the favor.
The Rule of Reciprocity (RoR) is a a powerful social norm that says that if someone does something for you, you tend to feel obligated to return the favor.