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hey everyone i wanted to give you
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something super practical today eight
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questions you can ask on a first date to
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get beneath the surface out of small
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talk learn a bit more about who someone
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is see if you’re compatible with that
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person and in the process
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make you appear more interesting and
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likable and unique to the person you’re
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on a date with pay particular attention
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to question number eight because if you
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do it right i think that question is the
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most revealing about a person and by the
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way if you haven’t already go over to
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yourdatingsolution.com where i have a
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tool that allows you to input your
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dating challenge right now and it will
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recommend you the solution of mine that
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best fits where you are in your love
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life right now go check it out now
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yourdatingsolution.com
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okay question number one
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who is someone you really admire i
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believe that when we ask someone who
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they admire we start to actually learn
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their values what is it they value what
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traits do they think are important in
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another human being because that says
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what traits they feel are important for
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themselves to aspire to and by the way
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the key to this question is asking
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why what is it about that person for me
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jameson
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mr rogers
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and steve irwin
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mr rogers because of his just kindness
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that was consistent in every situation
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and steve owen because of his just
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insane
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passion for what he did that made you
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get excited about whatever he was doing
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because of the energy that he fired out
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like a cannon ask your date next time
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who’s someone you really admire number
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two
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what kind of vacations do you love the
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most i think this is just a fun question
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in general because it gets you talking
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about something fun it gets you away
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from work even if someone hasn’t taken a
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vacation in a while it just gets us into
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that kind of fantasy of of where we like
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going what we like doing when we’re
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being carefree oh as a follow-up you can
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ask someone if you had to
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spend a year in a different country
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altogether
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where would you choose i think i would
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choose japan and by the way with all of
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these questions you get to ask why what
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is it about that place and what’s more
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fun than describing the soul of a place
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that you love number three what book do
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you think everybody should read this
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book for me is four thousand weeks by
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oliver berkman which
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talks about basically fomo on an
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existential level the fact that we don’t
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have enough time in life there’s so much
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we want to do and that leaves us all
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overwhelmed and despairing
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and uh and constantly doing too much i
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love this question what book do you
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think everyone should read because it’s
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another way of saying what’s a message
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that you think everybody should hear and
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when you hear the message that someone
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thinks everybody should hear
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then you’re learning what they think is
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really important in life question four
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what do you love most about what you do
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now not everyone loves what they do
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but
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what you’re going to learn is a whether
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they are passionate about what they do
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for a living
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and b even if they’re not can they find
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something that they love about what they
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do and if they say oh man i really
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struggle with what i do i’m not enjoying
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it then say what do you want to do
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instead or is there something you’d much
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rather be doing and then you learn about
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something they’re moving towards but
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you’re seeing if they can find passion
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in things i always think that
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it’s a bit scary if someone says i don’t
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like what i do
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and then if you say is there something
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else that you’re working towards that
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you would love to do and they say not
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really i would find that troubling
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because i’d think oh we don’t have a lot
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in common i could live with the fact
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that you don’t enjoy what you’re doing
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now as long as you were working towards
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something that you did enjoy but the
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fact that you’re doing neither scares me
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because it makes me feel like we have a
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different passion towards life or we
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have a different
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uh
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standard for passion in our lives number
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five what’s something you love doing but
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don’t do
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enough traveling
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probably everyone’s answer right now
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after the last two years i realize not
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just mine i always feel like this
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activates a part of our brain that
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really loves doing something and gets
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excited when we think about it or when
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we talk about it but maybe we haven’t
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gone there in a minute you’re inviting
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them to tell you about hobbies or
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passions that they’re not indulging
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nearly enough and so you learn what
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their thing is number six i borrow this
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question from my dear friend and
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publisher karen rinaldi who wrote a book
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called it’s great to suck at something
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and the question is what do you suck at
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by the way you can even use karen’s book
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as the inspiration for this question you
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can say you know i there’s a book that i
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saw on the bookshelf recently called
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it’s great to suck at something and it
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got me thinking like
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what do i suck at
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what do you suck at when you ask that
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question
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you invite someone to a place of
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humility
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that a lot of people can’t go to a
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vulnerability that a lot of people
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aren’t comfortable with but i like being
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around people who can be vulnerable can
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you have a moment of actual
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vulnerability i
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suck at karaoke
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i uh
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i get very shy
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when i’m in an environment where i might
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be called upon to do something like that
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uh you know some people just they’re
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like a duck to water when there’s a
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microphone around i am the opposite of
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that and it’s probably because i can’t
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sing number seven what is a film you are
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embarrassed you like so much
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i had to really think about this one
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deep blue sea
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that is
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a pretty
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bad movie for some reason deep blue sea
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there can’t be a screen
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that deep blue sea is on
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that i don’t end up watching for the
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full
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two hours i just think this question’s
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fun i also think you find out how
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seriously
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a person takes themselves a bit like
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asking someone what’s the most
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embarrassing song if i looked at your
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top 25
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most played songs
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what would be the most embarrassing one
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among them firstly it’s adorable to
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learn something that someone listens to
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or watches that’s
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bad
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but it’s also revealing of their ability
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to laugh at themselves number eight now
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this is the one i said i think is the
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most revealing how would your closest
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friends describe you what i like about
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this question is it gives someone a
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an unself-conscious way
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to talk about themselves it’s very hard
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if you say to someone describe yourself
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that’s really difficult and most people
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are too self-conscious to do that but if
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you say how would your best friend
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describe you then you’re allowing that
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person to ventriloquise the person that
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knows them the best and say things from
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an objective standpoint from some
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distance but actually say things about
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themselves now of course all of these
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questions one of the things they do
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is they
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give this person a platform to talk
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about things that are important to them
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things they love things they connect
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with and it does it in ways that a lot
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of people don’t ask so inherently you
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giving someone a platform to talk about
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all of these things that they enjoy
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talking about is going to make you more
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interesting to that person i also want
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to add that it’s incumbent on us to have
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good answers to the questions we ask
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anytime you’re going in with questions
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like these have a sense of if someone
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asked me these questions i would have
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rich and interesting opinions and things
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to say about the very things i’m asking
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i’m not asking someone else to be
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interesting without being prepared to be
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revealing and vulnerable and interesting
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myself don’t forget to go over to
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yourdatingsolution.com if there’s a
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particular challenge you’re facing in
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your love life right now and you want to
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know what i would recommend for that
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challenge it’s all there waiting for you
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and don’t forget leave me a comment
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today i want to read them like this
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video subscribe to this channel and hit
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to be notified i’ll see you next week
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