Some things we can’t have always seem the best, but once we get them, they may lose their original charm.
“Some people fall in love because they don’t understand, while some stop loving once they do.”
Often, we love the idea of someone and the lifelong companionship it promises, but sometimes what we love is just a fantasy in our minds.
It’s easy to fantasize but hard to face reality.
Sometimes, due to fantasies, people marry someone only to realize that married life isn’t as great as imagined. Then, they start fantasizing again about divorce, believing life alone will be better.
You might feel that marriage isn’t what you expected, dealing with responsibilities and conflicts with your spouse.
Feeling distressed, you may consider ending the marriage.
But as a mature person, you must realize that just as you married someone due to a fantasy, now you might want a divorce thinking you’ll be better off alone.
If you’re contemplating divorce, think about these four things from a mature perspective.
Your child’s emotional well-being will suffer.
Recently, I talked with a young girl who told me:
“The broken relationships of the previous generation have left deep-seated inferiority in our generation, a feeling that never fades.”
This girl’s parents divorced, and she now lives with her aunt. She spends money recklessly, disregarding family feelings. Following the divorce, she stayed with her father, who had to work, leaving her with the aunt.
Despite her father’s affection, giving her money daily, she became increasingly demanding, sometimes asking for hundreds a day.
Her behavior stems from deep-seated inferiority, wanting to appear well-off to others and not be looked down upon.
The consequences of her parents’ divorce led to her psychological struggles.
When ending a relationship, women must realize it’s not just about their liberation but also about the significant impact on their children.
The trauma from parents’ broken relationships can profoundly affect a child’s life.
People might judge you for remarrying.
When ending a relationship, women must consider that future partners may judge them.
In relationships, people can be selfish. Who wouldn’t prefer a partner with no prior relationship baggage?
If someone doesn’t mind a partner with a past, it might indicate they aren’t very committed in relationships or have had their fair share of experiences.
Remember, if you remarry, others might view you as a second-hand commodity, diminishing your worth.
Though it may sound harsh, such realities must be considered.
My cousin’s daughter, a divorcee for 12 years, struggles to find a partner. Despite meeting good prospects, they often judge her for being divorced, leading to strained relationships.
Reality can be harsh; don’t assume society is fair or forgiving.
You might neglect your children after remarrying.
After divorce, children typically stay with one parent.
If you remarry, you might prioritize your new family over your children from the previous marriage. This imbalance can strain relationships.
If your children are with you, but you remarry and have your own child, your focus might shift, affecting your relationship with your older child.
Remember, if you divorce, your child might lack the love and attention they need.
Ensure financial independence post-divorce.
A crucial consideration is whether you can financially support yourself after divorce.
Some women don’t work and rely entirely on their spouse. But if you plan to leave and live independently, remember that everything requires money. Without financial independence, life post-divorce can be challenging.
Before divorcing, assess your expenses, income sources, and future financial stability.
Living in reality is essential. Many things don’t go as planned, and people face hardships. In marriage, understanding and addressing minor issues are crucial.
As an adult, have a mature outlook. Marriage isn’t a light decision, nor is divorce. Be responsible for others, yourself, your children, and parents.
Ending a marriage is easy, as is marriage itself. The real challenge lies in navigating life after marriage and handling the aftermath of divorce, for yourself and those around you.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
What Does Being in Love and Loving Someone Really Mean? | My 9-Year-Old Accidentally Explained Why His Mom Divorced Me | The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex | The Internal Struggle Men Battle in Silence |
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Photo credit: Denny Müller on Unsplash