You don’t have to be FINE all the time! No one does.
And if someone pushes you to fake it or judges you about it, maybe you should open the door for them to leave.
This is serious, pretending to be okay is more destructive than feeling down.
Be kind to yourself. You don’t have to hide anything.
When someone asks you how you feel, don’t say you’re okay when you’re not. I know it’s not easy to express your frustrations when no one has asked you before. It’s like solving a riddle.
You can start by using the phrases below, and practice it more and more in your own way, just by saying how you feel comfortably.
◌ I’m not feeling okay at the moment.
◌ I’m confused about how I feel, would you help me figure it out?
◌ I’m mentally exhausted, I need to take a break.
◌ I’ve seen worse but I’m doing my best. Thanks for asking.
◌ I feel under a lot of pressure and I’m not sure if I can go on.
◌ I’m kinda bored these days. Are you free this weekend?
◌ Not now please, I need some time for myself.
◌ I‘m doing okay, had a bit of a rough day but hanging in there. How about you?
◌ I need to get it off my chest. can you help me?
◌ I need to talk to someone, do you have time?
◌ It’s getting out of control. I don’t know what to do.
◌ I can’t take it anymore. I need a therapist.
Some people might ask “How are you?” as a way of greeting you and showing social politeness, without actually expecting or wanting a detailed response. Others might genuinely be interested in your well-being and be asking the question sincerely. It’s always a good idea to assume that people are being genuine and authentic when they ask you how you are, unless you have a reason to believe otherwise.
Remember that it’s okay to be honest about your feelings and how you’re doing. If you’re not doing well, it’s okay to say so. You don’t have to put on a facade of always being “fine” if that’s not how you’re feeling.
This post was previously published on medium.com.
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|White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism
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|The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer
|What We Talk About When We Talk About Men
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