Painting your ex as the devil in disguise might be satisfying today, but will it be healthy in the long run?
The easiest way to get over a break-up is simple, and is a path that has been walked many times before by people from all walks of life.
You simply tell yourself, and everyone else around you that will listen, that this person was toxic, they constantly brought you down, they constantly disrespected you, they are such a terrible person, and you deserve better. It makes it easy to move on when your mind is filled with this notion of life being better without them, that your life would have been unfulfilling, or not worth living if you had to spend the rest of it with them. You can easily move past the longing in your heart for this person when you replace them with a picture of constantly grey skies and never ending unhappiness.
On the other hand the hardest way to get over an ex will be far more satisfying, and dignifying, albeit a little more challenging.
You’re allowed to remind yourself that you’re a great judge of character and they’re actually an incredibly intelligent, dedicated, funny, beautiful, generous, warm, kind and loving person. They weren’t toxic just because being in a relationship together didn’t make you both happy. Relationships often fail with two good people, not because of either person was unworthy, or inherently bad, but because relationships are as complex as they are beautifully simple and sometimes they just don’t work out, and that’s perfectly OK.
Yes it will take longer, yes it will not be any where near as easy, but you will be far better off in the long run for it.
If you’re taking the easy way out, all the things you want to say to, or about your ex are more than likely not true, they are more often than not your insecurities reflected in a mirror of desire. The things you’re most ashamed to admit you are, or are terrified you’re not, personified in your ex, and because these are the things you loathe most it makes it easy to move on from your ex when you feel they embody these traits.
I don’t care that this will take longer for me than if i were to take the easy way out, I will make sure I don’t shame or blame my ex. She was a great person and deserves the dignity and respect that comes from me not telling everyone who asks why our relationship ended that she was crazy or toxic or any other adjective that will discredit her character. She deserves at least that much and so too do I, because without our integrity we are nothing. So move on with dignity and pride, you were both amazingly great people before you met, while you were together, and now that you’re apart.
Don’t get disheartened when it takes you longer than others to move on, because when you do you’ll be stronger than those who took the easy way, you’ll have kept your integrity intact and you’ll find someone just as amazing as your ex with that little bit extra in them that makes things just work, and you’ll you’ll never look back.