I get it.
Life is tough.
You look around and realize that you are not getting the “good opportunities or chances” as others.
Some persons seem to operate as if they have a golden spoon and so you wonder about you.
You think if I was just smarter, better looking, had better siblings and the list continues.
However, while I acknowledge that some persons may have advanced because of family or friends’ connection, you are not out of the game.
The main reason stopping your progress is well — YOU.
At this point I hear the silent protest — “If you only know what I have been through, you wouldn’t say that.”
You are right, each of us may never know what others have experienced, some of our experiences are no doubt tougher than others.
There is a commonality that exist though with all persons who don’t give up — a willingness to keep going.
There are some key roadblocks that leads to us limiting ourselves from progressing.
We may not be aware of them and even when aware it is difficult to face, because more than face others, is facing ourselves.
However, even if you have no one, but you have a dream inside your heart to do whatever it is. You need to move it from a dream to reality by taking actionable steps and the only way really to do so, is by firstly stop limiting yourself with these actions:
Ignoring — We all have a past and not taking the time to find healing could keep us in a vicious cycle of repeating the same thing over and over.
The intent is not to go back and live in the past, but acknowledging, healing, and letting go of things that will not serve any useful purpose for our progress is fundamental for moving forward.
Sometimes the person we are most afraid of facing is ourselves and until we do so. We can find ourselves limited in our progress.
Blame — This one is all too common.
We blame the property owner, we blame parents, children, teachers, friends, the owner of the company we work, society. The blame continues and we continue to just blame and blame with the hope that we can continue to lull ourselves into a stupendous obsession that the world is responsible and should be held accountable for all our failings.
No, we didn’t do it at all — everyone else made me do it!
Can you see how ridiculous this is?
In no way am I saying that we may not have been dealt unfairly at one time or the other. However, holding on to blame keeps us locked in a prison of lull and irresponsibility to take control of our very lives which is so precious.
Excuses — I find myself personally good at this one.
Okay so I didn’t do this because I was tired, no one wanted to go with me. I didn’t find the time to review, I am not good at technology and so the list goes on.
We want it.
We desperately want it, but we find every excuse possible to stop the progress.
Sometimes it is the fear of putting ourselves out there and being criticized.
Not everyone will love you, some will outright hate, not with any real reason, but that’s okay.
At some point to progress you must stop living your life for others and just get on with living yours!
Self -Pity — This is one of the most commonly used.
Well, I didn’t grow up with my parents.
I didn’t have the opportunity my friends had.
I didn’t go the schools they went; I didn’t have the money or access to resources they had.
I didn’t grow up in the best community. The list continues and on.
In my country where I live, daily I see persons begging for money to purchase things for children.
I often wonder what if they could be entrepreneurship and sell something for the money instead of being young and able bodied and just asking for handouts.
Most times they have an incredibly sad story.
The genuity of it, I can’t forge for.
However, while I do empathize , I usually encourage them to look beyond this and see their lives in the way they want it to go.
I usually point them to resources that they can access to get started creating the life they want. Unfortunately, the majority walk away content to exist based on self-pity to earn the income they need to take care of themselves and their family.
Empathy is necessary as sometimes people experience some very traumatic events. However, living your life on eternal self-pity is going to limit you from reaching and pushing forward with goals and dreams.
We all face challenges.
However, the only way to keep living is to get up and keep moving.
The roadblocks will come, we will be down for a time, but the only time you lose, is when you stay down.
Even if you must crawl. Crawl and then kneel and then walk and eventually you will find yourself running.
We all have obstacles in our pathway of creating the life we desire.
However, you shouldn’t let yourself be one also.
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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.
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