He wasn’t scared or intimdated which I loved. But there were a few things I would recommend when introducing your significant other to your loved ones.
Introduce Your Parents First.
My brother made the dire mistake of bringing his girlfriend to a family party without introducing him to our parents before hand. My mom couldn’t gossip in the other room with her sisters about her because like them, she knew nothing about her. It was almost embarrassing and I knew that I was not going to do the same thing.
This made me nervous because my parents lived much further away than my extended family. So I had to intentionally avoid certain areas of town as to not run into my uncles and aunts knowing that my parents live 45 minutes away from the rest of us.
They were lucky to meet him on Mother’s day. My mom immediately loved him and my dad thought “he was a good kid.” Event though he’s a grown man. Laughs in only daughter.
Prep Him… Always.
Who’s who and what’s what. He should know going into the situation who is going to immediately like him and who is going to take their time. My Uncle Joe is the protective one, but Mike, not so much. Sit next to Mike for the best and most inclusive conversation. The men are going to go outside and smoke cigars, weed and drink beer by the bbq. Sit with them. In between Mike and my dad. When you get up to get a beer, offer them all one. They all might say yes. Make two trips. Laugh at my dads jokes, they aren’t funny. But everyone is watching you.
My grandpa will come in holding things — when she walks in. Offer to help. You’re going to be the youngest man there. You’re the grunt of the group now.
My aunt will offer you a plate of food. Take it. Even if you don’t like the food that was offered. Hold on to it for a few minutes before throwing it out or give it to one of my brothers who you already know. They’ll eat it.
When they offer to take you to see the cars out back, go. Always go. This is how the men vet you. They want to know two things. 1. Do you like cars, and 2. are you scared of them. If you go and you don’t like cars, they’ll know. If you don’t go and you like cars, they’ll know. Meeting my 7 uncles isn’t for the faint of heart.
Don’t talk about the Elephant in the room.
Too much prep can be nerve-wracking. Now he’s thinking about his next move all of the time. Don’t talk about the family politics before he meets the family. Let him see the interactions and ask about them later. This way he’ll see if he is OK with whatever issues arise on his own. This allows him to process without my own biases.
All in all it went well. My family loved him and he loved them. So We’ll see how this goes.
—
This post was previously published on medium.com.
***
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS. Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
Compliments Men Want to Hear More Often | Relationships Aren’t Easy, But They’re Worth It | The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex | ..A Man’s Kiss Tells You Everything |
—–
Photo credit: Tyler Nix on Unsplash