Remembering Will Rogers – compiled by Don Mathis
Don Mathis recently obtained an exclusive interview with Will Rogers – the stage and film actor, vaudeville performer, cowboy humorist, newspaper columnist, and social commentator from Oklahoma. Will Rogers lived from 1879 to 1935. The quotes are real; the questions are not. Â
D.M.: We have an election coming up. What is your view on this?
W.R.: It’s a good thing we don’t get all the government we pay for.
D.M.: Is there any similarity in selecting a candidate and picking a prospective spouse?
W.R.: Every time we see a bridegroom we wonder why she ever picked him, and it’s the same with public officials.
D.M.: Is that the only similarity?
W.R.: Political elections are a good deal like marriages, there’s no accounting for anyone’s taste.
D.M.: Is there a way to get the government out of the Divorce Industry?
W.R.: I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage.
D.M.: Is that the only way to decrease the number of divorces?
W.R.: I maintain that it should cost as much to get married as to get divorced. Make it look like marriage is worth as much as divorce, even if it ain’t.
D.M.: What can be done to resolve arguments between a couple?
W.R.: Never miss a good chance to shut up.
D.M.: Do you have any recommendations for communication between a man and a woman?
W.R.: There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.
D.M.: What can one do instead of bickering?
W.R.: People’s minds are changed through observation and not through argument.
D.M.: And if observation turns out to be as futile as argument?
W.R.: If you let women have their way, you will generally get even with them in the end.
D.M.: Is that the best thing for the man? Is that the worst thing for the woman?
W.R.: The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don’t let it get the best of you.
D.M.: Will there ever be understanding between men and women?
W.R.: Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.
D.M.: How can we learn any differently?
W.R.: There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.
D.M.: Is that the way it’s always been?
W.R.: Things ain’t what they used to be and never were.
D.M.: Thank you Mr. Rogers! Do you have any closing bits of advice for us?
W.R.: If you want to be successful, it’s just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing.
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Featued image Hal Roach Studios / Pathé Exchange
Exhibitor’s Trade Review (Dec. 1923 – Feb. 1924), on the Internet Archive
