![](https://goodmenproject.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/keith-hardy-oZ7_Akq4q0s-unsplash-1.jpg)
! Respiro ! … (! I breathe! ) …
So basic. In and out. Breathing. … Why is this still so damn difficult to manage?? I’ve only been doing this for 62 years ! .. Failure to thrive? Not exactly. I have a good life, a very good life. I’m just not that good at … breathing. I suppose, just like everyone else, I’m a work-in-progress.
***
Leaving
Ever watch someone leaving ?
It goes something like this:
Me :
standing on the slate walkway.
Her :
turning right at the Stop sign.
This afternoon,
aware & waiting,
my eyes follow
her car
veering right ,
then left,
disappearing from view,
beyond the weeping cypresses
and
over the bridge
that spans the stream ..
hiccuping
all the way down
its own path
to the Huron .
The homes she passes are ones she never wanted to live in :
too grand,
too showy,
too many rooms
that require
too much furniture
and not enough time
to fill
all that space.
This morning’s
leaving,
no different
than any other
leaving .
Standing ,
staring,
still.
Just need to
watch her
make that turn
and
the next,
as if I don’t
witness it,
I won’t see her
again.
Stupid , vague anxiety
carries such specific
scenes of despair ,
as if the moment
itself
bends down ,
so naturally,
to relace,
tie its own
shoes
before rejoining
the sleepy
quiet.
I
can’t
stop
watching .
—
This post was previously published on medium.com and here.
***
From The Good Men Project on Medium
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Photo credit: Keith Hardy on Unsplash