Straight guys who suffer from sexual dysphoria are prisoners of their own sexuality: they desperately desire women but can’t seem to relate to them as human beings.
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“All who are male slices pursue the males . . . . it is not out of shamelessness that they do this but out of boldness, manliness, and masculinity, feeling affection for what is like to themselves. . . . When they are fully grown men, they . . . naturally pay no attention to marriage and procreation, but are compelled to do so by the law; whereas they would be content to live unmarried with one another.” —Plato’s Symposium (191E-192B)
But perhaps we need to start talking about an equally tragic condition: sexuality dysphoria (e.g., being a heterosexual douche who simultaneously desires women and can’t stand them, the kind of guy who wants women but can’t seem to relate to them as human beings.)
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Of all the sad specimens I meet in this broken and burning world, few evoke more spontaneous sympathy than those heterosexual folk who are, it seems, prisoners of their own sexuality. I’m talking about the straight women who clearly can’t stand men. And I’m talking about the heterosexual guys who really, in their heart of hearts, don’t like the company of women. Some of these guys are downright misogynists. But in my experience most aren’t. Women are simply a mystery to them, a mystery they’re not interested in solving. Gender is for them a kind of tall garden wall, a barrier made of solid stone, which keeps them from seeing women as people. These guys are happiest when they’re hanging out with “the guys”. As such, wouldn’t they be happier if they could get a little man-on-man action at the end of the night? I think so. Incidentally, I’ve yet to meet a gay man who hates men. And I’ve never even heard of a lesbian who hates women (with the possible exception of Camille Paglia). Regardless, it’s now common to speak of gender dysphoria (e.g., being a woman trapped in a man’s body). But perhaps we need to start talking about an equally tragic condition: sexuality dysphoria (e.g., being a heterosexual douche who simultaneously desires women and can’t stand them, the kind of guy who wants women but can’t seem to relate to them as human beings.)
In order for someone to be diagnosed with Sexuality Dysphoria, I propose the following criteria: First and foremost, the individual must be a heterosexual who finds it impossible to relate to members of the opposite sex as human beings. Secondly, the individual must manifest six (or more) of the following symptoms for at least a six-month duration:
- repeatedly stated desire to participate exclusively (or as much as possible) in all-male or all-female environments (e.g., the kind of guy who always wants to hang out with “the guys” and finds hanging out with his girlfriend a chore).
- in young men, preference for expressions like “bros before hoes”; in young women, preference for expressions like “chicks before dicks”.
- strong and persistent misogynistic/misandric tendencies.
- a strong and persistent inability to empathize with members of the opposite sex.
- intense desire to participate in the stereotypical games and pastimes of the same sex.
- strong preference for playmates of the same sex.
- a strong dislike of members of the opposite sex.
- a strong desire to objectify members of the opposite sex.
- persistent discomfort in the presence of members of the opposite sex.
Gender Dysphoria can’t be “cured” (nor should we even try to “cure” it). But Sexuality Dysphoria can (and should) be cured. The cure has a name: its name is feminism.
—John Faithful Hamer, Butterflies not Crocodiles (2016)
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Originally published at Committing Sociology. Reprinted with permission.
Photo: Ctvgs/Pixabay
“Feminism was a response to the very real oppression women dealt with where men actually had taken away women’s lawful rights…Without {feminism} men would have kept denying women equality. Women had to demand equality before me gave it.” Not to debate the minutiae of history too much, but the suffragette movement, women’s liberation, and much of that which falls under the very diverse historical, social, and ideological umbrellas of what one considers/considered ‘feminism’ was not so much an attempt to ‘restore pre-proscribed lawful rights that had been taken away’ as it was an attempt to extend and enshrine existing rights… Read more »
John Hamer: “But Sexuality Dysphoria can (and should) be cured. The cure has a name: its name is feminism.” >>> No…FEMINISM is definitely not the cure here. There are a TON of feminists with “sexual dysphoria”, just like there are a ton of MRA’s with it too. For example, NOW, the National Organization for Women, is the premier feminist organization in the country. Are you aware that they have CONSISTENTLY opposed equal custodial rights for both parents for the past 50 years or so – and STILL do? There’s a reason – a damn good reason – that the men’s… Read more »
I tend to agree Jack – feminism and feminist ideology, for all its juxtaposed ideological prisms and triumphalist rhetoric, it is not a ‘cure’ for anything – far from it: Like other ideologies before and after it, feminism’s overarching zealousness and preoccupations (with gender as the immutable nexus of all social power and differentiation) and its insular beliefs in the sanctity & infallibly of its own dogma, is a symptom, rather than a ‘cure.’ That which is fundamentally essentialist, illiberal, and anti-humanist is as errant as the maladies it would presume to diagnose and rectify. As such, feminism doesn’t dismantle such gendered absolutism or prejudices… Read more »
What s/he said.
Feminism was a response to the very real oppression women dealt with where men actually had taken away women’s lawful rights. The men’s right movement was infact a backlash to the shared equality women demanded. Rest assured though, men still rule the world. Without Feminism, women would still not be able to vote or own property and the other millions of horrendous social constructs men, yes guys, men, set up to keep women down. Feminism is not the same thing as the MRM. They did not emerge for the same reasons either. Feminism was very much needed and still is.… Read more »
@ Erin I disagree. Feminism wasn’t about equality. It was about granting women equal rights and privileges as men and there it stayed. The MRM was about ensuring that women also had equal responsibilities something feminism gladly overlooked in their quest for “equality”. Question what rights do men have that women don’t? What responsibilities do women have that men don’t? Just to be fair, I’ll answer the reverse of the questions. Rights women have that men don’t? The right to genital integrity as non-consensual FGC is illegal, but non-consensual (infant) MGC is not only legal, but widespread. What obligations do… Read more »
Hi Silke – What country are you from? Because I’m only familiar with Western culture, I found your question confusing. The laws in the US related to marriage and divorce are much like other countries dominated by European, Christian culture. You must be from a country not dominated by Christianity, right?
Norwegian.
To understand these things from a male perspective, one need only read “The Manipulated Man”, “The Myth of Male Power” and “Stand by Your Manhood”. The men you describe are created, not born. They arrive at their current destination through battlefield scars and observation of others scars. The men you describe are some of the most canny on the planet. Why? The don’t subscribe to the illusions and enchantments of love – something from which many in the mental health field are frantically trying to free their suicidal/homicidal clients. Over the past 50 years, tens upon tens of millions of… Read more »
Hi Tim
It is election time in the. U.S.
Are most people in America discussing a change of Family law, laws that governs marriage and divorce?
You seems to have laws very different from other countries.
Hi John
Yes a new diagnose can be created. but I am not so sure these persons are motivate to search therapy ,to change their ways and learn to love .
Silke,
Maybe, but maybe they reject it because they know that the way things are defined and framed are usually in ways designed to shame men.
John
Yes sometimes that happens,
But I would be surprised if all orientations ,all the different schools of psychology is based on theoriies that shames men.
Silke I don’t think it’s as much science than a branch of science he’s trying to merge with feminist theory (which to my knowledge has never been put up to the rigorous standards of science) to create another psuedo scientific branch of “science”. His measures are arbitrary and capricious. A woman who works out 3 times a week at a women’s only gym would be a misandrist, but I suspect he would fall over backwards trying to come up with excuses as to why that shouldn’t be counted. Sexual objectification is misogynistic, but projecting traits on an individual (schrodinger’s rapist)… Read more »