Life can be damn hard and full of challenges. It is easy to become overwhelmed and left feeling both physically and emotionally stressed. But life doesn’t have to be that way. Continue reading, and I will explain how I was to blame and share my tips for how I now bring joy into my days.
Take a minute and ask yourself the following questions.
Do you find yourself anxious or stressed much of the time?
Do you suffer from anxiety when life throws you a curve ball?
Do you struggle to feel like you have been able to accomplish all the things you want to get done?
Even the most competent among us can falter from time to time. No matter how even keel or organized we seem, stress and anxiety lie below the surface, waiting to rear their ugly heads.
My battle with schedules and time management left me stressed, anxious, and often feeling like a complete failure.
Many years ago, during a flurry of work, kids’ softball tournaments, dance recitals — you know the craziness, I said, “Once this week is over, things will slow down.” My husband quickly pointed out that I often said those exact words.
Things never slowed down.
Here I am many years later, and life is still crazy. My husband, who is retired and has various health issues, loves to disrupt my schedule. Grandkids are now in the picture, and life as a caregiver has its own unique demands. I couldn’t tell up from down and always felt like I was letting someone down.
What I didn’t realize is that person I was letting down the most was me.
Being organized and adhering to schedules is fantastic if and when it works. However, it is easy to get overwhelmed by our plans. When this happens, our progress grinds to a halt, and we often lose traction.
Life isn’t something you can follow like a date planner. Although I love my planner, it has many check marks of success and cross-outs of uncompleted items. I realize it is more of a guide than a strict schedule. When I get more engrossed in checking things off, I find the rest of my life falls through the cracks.
But the chaos, challenges, and the passing of time have taught me more than I would have ever thought.
I am a slow learner, but eventually, I realized a lot of the stress I was feeling was self-imposed. Not everything can be managed or scheduled, nor should it be. Once I accepted this, a weight was lifted from my shoulders.
How to know if the pressure is self-inflicted.
- Saying yes when we should be saying no. We all want to be the best parent, the best employee, the best friend, etc. Your kids want to have some friends spend the night and go to an amusement park the next day; they expect you to chaperone. Maybe your boss asks you to work the weekend after an exhausting week. But striving for perfection will leave anyone exhausted. The person we need to be at our best is ourselves.
- We let things go to the last minute. We always think we have more hours in the day than 24. It is like when I was in school and still finishing a report as the teacher collected them. Time may be infinite, but our days are not. Letting things go till the last minute will lead to stress, poor performance, and lost moments of joy. When I am anxious and pushed to the limit of finishing something before a deadline, I cannot be present for what surprises life might have in store.
- We overschedule ourselves. I am guilty of filling up my to-do list to accomplish many tasks. But what I am doing is trying to make myself feel accomplished. But the opposite happens when the day ends, and I haven’t knocked everything off my list. I feel like I am failing, and I am exhausted and overwhelmed.
- We don’t leave time to recharge. I can’t begin to tell you how often I have been up late working on my laptop to get back up and do it all over again. I will drink stale coffee, grab a quick, often unhealthy snack, and do it all over again.
The steps I take to ensure a balanced life.
- Remember that I am not Wonderwoman. And this means recognizing it is ok to say no. It is not the end of anyone’s world.
- Do not let things wait till the last minute. There will always be interruptions, and starting projects earlier, I leave time for the unexpected.
- Leave open time in my daily schedule for relaxing. Impromptu phone calls, visits from friends, errands, or simply enjoying a cup of tea and a few minutes of just existing without expectation is now a requirement.
- Give me time off. I now accept that I deserve a day of no commitments or a morning enjoying coffee with my husband. And I make it a priority to get a good night’s sleep.
Enjoy the ride before it’s too late.
Just like that roller coaster, life is unpredictable. Allow yourself to enjoy all the excitement and keep coming back for more, even when it’s scary. The ride is worth it.
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Previously Published on Medium
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