Here are the Top 10 Lame-Ass Reasons not to exercise, as I see them. It’s not an official list compiled by the “We’re Better Than You Exercisers of America” or anything. These are the reasons I’ve heard most often from friends, family, and coworkers, and my personal reaction to them. (I’ve used many of these excuses myself.) If I seem a little more aggressive than usual in this post, it’s not your imagination — I am. I feel that strongly about the benefits of exercise. (Diet is the topic for another day.)
By the way, aside from No. 1 (which wins by a landslide), they aren’t in a particular order. If you have other good ‘uns, write them in the comments section at the bottom!
10. My spouse or significant other is not supportive of the idea of me working out. He (or she) has no interest in exercise.
Ever heard the “crabs” theory? It states that when you’re boiling a pot full of live crabs and one tries to escape, the others will pull him back in. They would rather all cook together than help or even allow one to escape. Sounds like you’re in a pot of crabs. Have the guts to say, “I know this is what’s best for me AND you. If you’re not on board, I’ll go it alone.”
9. Gyms are full of leering, flexing, chemically inflated meatheads.
I’m sure there are gyms that fit that description, but I’ve never encountered them. To the contrary, I attend two Crossfit “boxes,” and I’ve found the people there friendly, supportive, nurturing, encouraging, funny, intense, and family-oriented. We have holiday parties, organize community fundraisers, and learn each other’s children’s names. I’m sure you’ll find the same in many other fitness establishments where like-minded people are working toward similar goals. The atmosphere is overwhelmingly positive because the process of becoming fit is, by definition, optimistic.
8. People who are fit have never been out of shape like me. They are naturally athletic and prone to fitness. I’m not. Therefore, I could never be fit.
This absurd perception that thin, fit people have always been thin and fit annoys the crap out of me. And it’s dismissive and offensive to people who have put in hundreds of hours of effort and pain to earn the body they currently have. Of the people I work out with, only about a third have athletics in their backgrounds. Most are like me: former couch potatoes (like the guy in the photo above) who decided enough was enough. Everybody is prone to fitness because every BODY was designed by God Almighty Himself. ’Nuff said. Next!
7. I’m too scared.
If you’re choosing obesity and poor quality of life for you and your family over the alternative of fitness and awesome quality of life because you’re “too scared” to go into a gym or Crossfit box or to do pushups and situps on your own living room floor, fear isn’t your problem. Stupidity is. Your fear should be directed toward the medical trolls that are hiding under bridges in your future, and what maladies you’ll have to endure after its too late to avoid them. Next!
6. Gym memberships are too expensive. I don’t have the money.
Who needs a gym? My first six months of regular exercise happened on my living room floor all for the low, low price of nothing. I used absolutely no equipment other than my own body weight. During that time, I lost 50 pounds. NEXT!
5. I’m happy with me the way I am.
OK, but I doubt it. America is the most obese country on Earth. More than one-third of adults in our country are obese. These aren’t my stats — they come from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. So there’s a pretty decent chance that you’re telling me you’re happy with being obese (or on your way there). Call me crazy, but if that’s what you’re saying, I bet you’re not being totally honest with yourself. “I’m happy with me the way I am” is usually code for “I don’t really believe I can change,” or “I’m too lazy to change.” Moving on!
4. I’m too out-of-shape and have too many aches and pains.
When I began Crossfit, I hadn’t done any meaningful exercise in 20 years, couldn’t run 200 meters, and was 30 to 40 pounds overweight. I’ve got degenerative disc disease and underwent lower-back surgery 10 years ago due to severe sciatic nerve pain in my leg. Every morning, I wake up with lower-back pain. I’ve also got shoulder and knee problems. My point is, whether you’re a couch potato or a professional athlete, you will have aches and pains. They will only limit you if you allow them to.
3. I’m too old to start.
Give me a break. I started at 44. I could be a dad to several people I work out with. And there are a couple “fire-breathers” that could be MY dad! No age is too old to move in some way. I can say with confidence that if you’re reading this blog, you’re not too old to exercise.
2. I don’t like it. It’s too hard.
Hmm. I sure glad Edison didn’t decide it was too hard to invent the lightbulb. Or that Lincoln didn’t figure it was too inconvenient to end slavery. I’m even glad the U.S. Olympic hockey team didn’t subscribe to the idea that it was too much work to beat the Russians in 1980. Or that your Great-Grandma didn’t decide to just bag the whole milking-the-cow-at-4 a.m-every-morning thing to provide for her family because it was a pain in the butt to crawl out of bed. Whether it’s earning an education, excelling at a job, writing a novel, leading a country, or taking care of your health, nothing worth doing is easy.
And the No. 1 Queen-Mary-Mother-of All-Lame-Ass-Excuses for not exercising…
1. I don’t have time.
You really shouldn’t have brought this one up. The amount of sympathy I can produce wouldn’t fill a flea’s teacup.
My wife, Holly, and I both have full-time jobs. Mine is a 25-minute commute (one way) in good traffic; her’s — an hour and a half. We have three children under 13. Two go to the same school, which is a 20-minute drive away from home. The other goes to kindergarten at a different school that is 20-minutes from the first, which equals a nightmarish daily scenario of me or Holly scrambling to pick up someone before they turn into a pumpkin or we get charged a late fee, whichever comes first. All the kids have extracurricular activities, including my daughter’s Girl Scout troop, of which Holly is leader. We have no relatives within a seven-hour drive. (Our circumstances have changed since I first wrote this, and now we have even LESS time.)
Shall I continue? Because I can.
Holly and I find 4-6 hours per week to work out. You can be effective at only around 20 minutes a day, so don’t give me “I don’t have time.” Take an honest look at the things you do have time for, and then revisit your lame statement. This is literally your EARTHLY BODY we’re talking about here. The flesh and bone you will inhabit until the end of your days. Joan Rivers (R.I.P.) and Kenny Rogers notwithstanding, we only get one body. There’s time. Make exercise a priority and you’ll find it.
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Originally published on Doofus Dad
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