The Way To Love, Even With Insecurity

More than meets the heart, love has a world on its own, willing to be molded by your perspectives, dreams, desires, and insecurities. In life climbing mountains is what’s done every single day, be it at work, at home, at the grocery shop, it doesn’t matter where you are, because the heart won’t stop beating for a second. Even if you’re relaxed and at peace with your mind, something inside of you keeps on tackling life. And in this plane of non-stop fighting, times will come when insecurities show up, even in a word blurted out on a whim. Whether you’re in love or out of love, there’s only one way to climb the mountain of insecurity.

Truth be told, never has anxiety taken the spotlight of day-to-day life, and this is due to factors you might find yourself watching before your eyes, in unknown faces, in intrinsic tone of voices stating blurry truths, wavering at the first anticipation of a life without the love of someone. Regardless of your goals, the mountain climbing still goes on.

Each step forward craves footing, solid ground, firm grasp, but rolling stones along with unstable edges is everywhere to see on your way to the next level of your journey. The question is, how does someone by your side lend you a helping hand, and how you can manage on your own, when dark clouds sweep away a bright morning, blowing with incomprehensible rage, the wind comes into play and before you know it, under the rain on top of slippery rocks is where you find yourself.

If you’re alone, then keeping a steady footing is what you’re usually concerned with, because the thing is that when relying on yourself is the only plan B left, chances are pulling it off on your own will be your main focus. That’s the face of my journey. By the way, as the climbing wasn’t scary and didn’t demand so many skills to survive already, I can’t see myself overcoming my insecurities with a long-term approach and although I have someone in my life willing to help me along the way, I have the feeling of not being able to accept it fully cause I should get over my insecurities by my self, so I wouldn’t cause trouble to that person. Did you ever feel like that?

Love is about acceptance, they say. But should I accept someone before accepting myself? Should I water the flowers and tend to someone’s garden before caring for my own? Is there any river out there in this vast and surprising world — filled with countless histories and splendid landscapes to see — that leads water to other rivers without first having water of its own? But then, does it mean you and I can’t give what we don’t have? Does one needs love to give love back? Is there such a thing as selfless and should you expect such a blessing from someone willing to accompany your journey? It goes on…

And to keep on climbing up the aggressive weathers of insecurities till the point of overcoming them all, it seems a matter of choice, to have or not have someone you love deeply.

At the end of the day, it all comes down to what you want to experience and live in life and other’s opinion shouldn’t worry you with your choice. The way is more than the end. The beauty of a climbing might not be exactly stepping on the peak of the mountain, but all the thrill you had in the way that kept your heart beating in the rhythm of adventure and discovery, along with the landscapes you were lucky to contemplate.

It’s a choice to share the path and the battles against insecurities with someone you love. In fact, one of the main regrets of dying people is not saying what they thought they should; it was the regret of what they didn’t try. I know life may not be perfect right now, since it seems so many duties and goals knock at our door every single morning, afternoon, night and even after midnight in worried sleepless nights.

“If you are insecure, guess what? The rest of the world is, too.” ― Tim Ferriss

That’s why some say it’s wise to rely on the source of your deepest desires, specially the unseen and imperceptible ones at play all the time. Where explanation doesn’t seem to cover this hard-to-understand sacred place from the inside. The gut feeling. So, going after that profession you truly believe and just trying climbing whatever mountain you choose, with or without someone, despite the feeling of being unprepared for it, lurking at your image, is the only way to put on the boots and set out for the climb.

It doesn’t mean that logic shouldn’t play a part in your decision-making. Do let it have a saying. However, remember that being unsure about doing something is temporary, but regret is for a lifetime.

The point is, give your heart a chance, and take it upon yourself to figure out the way, above all, in a relationship.

Because your journey needs your action.

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Previously Published on medium

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