Do men get taken for granted when it comes to receiving compliments?
Everyone loves compliments. It makes a person feel valued, appreciated, and worthwhile. A simple compliment can turn a person’s whole day around, boost confidence, even heal hurt. Women get compliments all the time, from friends, family, partners, bosses, co-workers, even complete strangers. But what about men?
Do men get complimented enough?
Do they enjoy/desire compliments in the same way women do?
Do people take for granted that women get complimented but men may not?
Photo: crimsong19/Flickr
I get a lot of compliments on my work or abilities. I don’t get many for my looks at least not since I turned 35 or so, but I don’t always recognize them nor do I deserve them. I don’t put a whole lot of effort into how I look day to day so when I do, it makes a difference. I got beaned with a balled up piece of paper in class because a classmate complimented me on my appearance and I wasn’t paying attention to her. Other classmates brought it to my attention because of course I was… Read more »
It’s better to have an inside-out sense of self than an outside-in sense of self. If you’re devastated by a lack of external validation, then you need to do some serious homework on yourself. Maybe as an introvert I’m biased against people who need lots of external validation, but it just seems so clingy sometimes.
There’s evidence out there suggesting that getting lots of compliments is actually counterproductive. People can actually be ruined by rewards. There’s a danger in getting too many compliments, and the result tends to be very similar to getting not enough compliments.
Personally, I don’t take compliments well,never have. It just makes me uncomfortable. The funny thing about it is that the closer the person making the compliment is to me (eg: family or close friends vs. casual acquaintance, strangers) the more uncomfortable I get!
I actually dislike compliments. Sorry to sound cynical, but most compliments are shallow and feel irrelevant to me. Get too many compliments, it may go to your head and make you feel like you deserve compliments, which is not a good attitude to have. I would far rather be told “good job” than hear nothing but empty statements about my perceived qualities.
It seems that men might disbelieve any sort of flowery compliments (it would make his bull–sh*t beeper go off…!)…
If you give a man a flirty look, a big smile directed right at him, or get in real close for a gentle kiss, he tends to really light up…or surprise him in bed…(then who cares what you say to him? Ha!)…!!
Generalization time with my best guess of society in the west. I’ll answer it as plainly as possible “FUCK NO” Men do not get enough compliments, nor do they get anywhere near enough physical affection (hugs, etc), I’ve had psychologists tell me it’s very common for their male patients to not get very little physical affection especially compared to women. Compliments on a man’s looks are far more rare than what he does but even then compliments can be rare. Women also aren’t complimented enough on what they do and too much for their body. Put it this way, I… Read more »
I guess men get many compliments from what we do ( like our jobs, our hobby ), but we rarely get any compliments about what we are. Like our looks, our kindness, etc. Thats why maybe I can smile easily and said thank you when someone compliments my job and my hobby, but I can get very uncomfortable and embarrassed when someone, especially women, compliments my looks or just my kindness.
1- what the F is that supposed to mean?
2- if I had any idea how women enjoy/desire anything I wouldn’t be in my present straits
3- “C” ?
I suspect that, while men appreciate compliments, the average male does not need compliments as much as the average female. Cockiness is a trait that men are especially at risk of and, on balance, a smaller ration of compliments can be good for most of us. Giving praise too readily fuels an over-confidence that has been the downfall of far too many men over the years. Without wanting to waste too much time on the standard qualifications – yes, some men are chronically insecure and really need more compliments and, yes, some women have egos that inflate far too easily… Read more »
No, no, and yes…how’d I do?
I’m sure I’m damaged but the rare times I get a compliment I assume the one doing the complimenting is after something. And I’m usually right.