Recently I’ve been stressed up about the relationship between me and my family. The stress took a lot of my energy, even keeping me from doing focused work in the workplace.
Accidentally, I’ve stumbled into the video about the self-esteem of Will Smith, which is like a wake-up call to me. You can watch the video on YouTube from here.
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I had been raised in a way that making other people around me happy is kind of important thing.
At home
My family usually invite relatives or close friends of my father to go to the house at the weekend. We will have lunch, my father and some other men will drink some wine or beer then talk for the whole afternoon. My mother, my sister and I will have to wait for all to finish then clean things up. Can you guess how tiresome it is to wait for like that? Even when we don’t feel this is the right thing, we still have to behave as we like it because of hospitality or because we’re not supposed to say that as in the older generations think.
At school
There are times that I know the teacher is saying something wrong. But when I try to point how what’s the wrong thing, that teacher will notice me and bring me trouble. Since then, if I notice the wrong thing, I just ignore it so nothing’s harmful will happen to me.
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At work
Scared to be the one who doesn’t know about many things? Fear to say the thing which I believe is right in the meeting? Maybe the team leader will not like that? Maybe I will not be considered for the next raise? Who knows
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These kinds of things happen, again and again, make me a tendency to not follow what I think, but follow what others think. Time went by, as I look back, I feel like I’m living someone else’s life, not my life anymore.
Enough of that
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“It’s not selfish, but selfless to be first, to be as good as possible to you, to take care of you, to keep you whole and healthy, that doesn’t mean that you disregard everything and everyone, but you gotta keep your cup full.”
– Iyanla Vanzant
You and I only got one shot of this life. If we do not listen to ourselves, listen to our own voice from within, so what’s the point.
You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.
Mae West
You gotta try your best, you gotta stick to your goals, and commit to it consistently. No one is gonna do anything good for you. It’s up to you to do the things that keep you happy.
I would like to take a quote from Will Smith, because it is so strong.
“Fear is not real. The only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future. It is a product of our imagination, causing us to fear things that do not at present and may not ever exist. That is near insanity. Do not misunderstand me danger is very real but fear is a choice.”
― Will Smith
When you fear doing something, but you think it’s the right thing to do. You have to do it right away. Why? Because even doing that can kill you, it’s still the TRUTH. And nothing is more important than the TRUTH. If you don’t live truly to what you believe, then what are you living for? For other people? Nah, I don’t think so.
Live to your fullest, take the risks? Go there, do that. Live for the now. Not for the future. And when you live for the now, and believe what you do is the right thing, that’s truly live.
I would like to end this blog post by a quote from Mark Twain which I quite like:
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
— Mark Twain
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Live.
Now.
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Previously published on “Change Becomes You”, a Medium publication.
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Photo credit: istockphoto.com