Do you have a dead bedroom at home?
Is it really about frequency?
I’m beginning to understand that’s just part of the equation.
- Is it about passion from your partner?
- Is it about laughing, playing, and having fun?
- Is it about exploring and adventure?
- Is it about feeling and being felt like you are wanted?
- Is it about navigating waters you never dreamed existed?
- Is it about connecting with the spiritual side of the physical?
I’m starting to think it’s more than just frequency.
It’s all of it.
It’s not communicating. Not being heard. Not being seen. Not being valued.
All the “not’s.”
When you are with the right partner, you feel special. Loved beyond reason. The satisfying sex is the summation of everything else.
It’s when my guys texts, “Drive carefully. I need you safe.”
Or, “I love your body,” while caressing your ass.
“I’m such a lucky guy.”
And you are always touching.
Not like my marriage, “Can I get a hug?” in bed, I ask.
“No way! Stay on your side!”
It’s not being able to express how I feel without being offended or hurt.
“I can’t get a hug?” I ask, again.
“I need to sleep. Are you kidding?”
“I’m not kidding. Just a hug. No sex crap, I promise.” (not like that was an even remote possiblity)
“I have to get up early. I am not starting anything now.”
Sigh.
That’s my marriage in a paragraph.
Being shamed because I wanted simple affection.
Maybe I could live with no sex if I felt passionate love and connection. But I don’t.
I’d like to be able to give and receive love in a way that feels organic.
Not tiptoeing the minefields of a dying relationship.
It isn’t just the frequency. It’s everything else that adds up to a good sex life.
Dear reader, is it about frequency in your dead bedroom? Is it more?
Links outside The Medium for those who live dangerously (you know I do, lol):
- Follow me on substack — [email protected] (It’s free and I’m interestingly evil…)
- ko-fi.com/monalisasmiled (Help a lady adulteress out, won’t you? I’m so bad, I’m good.)
- Buy me a chai tea at Patreon at [email protected] and spare me selling my body and soul on OnlyFans. I’m old. C’mon.
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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.
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