Fourth grade isn’t exactly a walk in the park, but for Evan Jacobs, having a dad who knew a lot about space aliens was the ticket to social acceptance. It’s been mostly downhill from there.
“The only thing more attractive than a hot girl is a hot girl who has no idea she’s hot.”
Walking embarrassment Evan Jacobs tells you everything you need to know to alienate friends and irritate people.
Evan Jacobs recalls the one that got away, and how he let her go.
You are about to read the most entertaining story you’ve ever read about hemorrhoids.
In college, Evan Jacobs stole his mother’s work phone to call phone-sex party lines. His mom nearly lost her job. Evan got a shrink.
Evan Jacobs’ first love was the voice of a girl he’d never met. Thousands of dollars and hours of therapy later, he’s still coming to terms with his phone-sex addiction.
A few weeks into a relationship, Evan Jacobs was obsessed. Not with his new girlfriend—with his plan to pay for sex in Amsterdam.
Take it from Evan Jacobs: wear compression shorts. You don’t want to go where he’s been.