Dear Friends,
Thank you for being the ones who’ve always been there for me. Mom hates you and Dad never wanted us to be friends.
But Dad can’t keep me stable the way you do, Prozac.
Mom could never take away the pain the way you do, Wellbutrin.
Mom’s trying to get rid of you, Adderall, and I’m sorry you might have to leave. I don’t want you to leave because for the first time in my life I’m not impossible to teach. I doubt Ritalin will make me feel the same way.
Seroquel, I think you’re my new best friend. Each night when all the others go to bed they leave me feeling this unimaginable vacancy inside my stomach. It spreads like cancer throughout my body until you arrive. And I can feel you filling that vacancy as you make my eyes slide to the back of my head and stop all the noise inside my head. For hours you stop my world like a superhero. Truly I don’t know who I would be without you. I can’t remember the person I was without all of you. You took whoever I used to be and transformed me into a body without a brain.
My brain is somewhere, but you’re all controlling it now, so I have no idea where it is or how it’s doing. I guess all of me is yours now. Maybe that’s why I’m the only one who likes you guys. You turned off the vacancy sign in my mind and kicked out all of my old interests, like friends, music, art, and running.
From then on my mind has belonged to you.
I’m not vacant anymore. I’m just a body and a mind made up of antipsychotics, antidepressants, anxiety relievers, and stimulants.
But anything is better than vacant.
Yours forever,
Milena Bennett
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