If there’s one thing we’re all about here at the Good Men Project, it’s discussion. So when our erstwhile founder Tom Matlack wrote a controversial post about how he sees the role of feminism in discussions of men’s issues, we figured this was something worth talking about. Below you’ll find Tom’s original post, as well as a collection of response pieces from a number of our favorite contributors, representing many different points of view on this important issue.
Why Being a Good Man is NOT a Feminist Issue
Tom Matlack envisions a place where men can share stories of their struggle for goodness man-to-man apart from what women or feminists might say about that story.
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Why Being a Good Man is Definitely a Feminist Issue
Noah Brand makes the case that gender theory applies to both genders.
These Are The Stories that Change Everything
Lisa Hickey responds to an article in The Atlantic about ‘having it all’ and debates feminism and Tom Matlack along the way.
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Is Men vs. Feminism Even a Relevant Discussion?
Jesse Kornbluth asks why, with women’s rights under attack in America and around the world, we should argue about who gets to be in the club against these abuses.
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Men’s Goodness Hinges on Hearing Women’s Voices: A Response to Tom Matlack
Hugo Schwyzer sees a world where men can be better, happier and different by including women’s voices in the telling of stories about men.
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Private—Men Only
Dan Griffin thinks there’s a place for single-gender spaces, so long as the people involved are genuinely of good will.
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It’s About Men: A Response to Tom Matlack
Let’s create a movement by and for men and be as great as we can be, says Zek Evets. Let’s do something good.
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Why Men Can’t be Feminists
Shawn Maxam explains how power dynamics and issues of privilege can distract us from the real conversations men need to be having.
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The Transformational Power of Listening: Why Tom Matlack is Right
Mark Greene explains why Feminism (or any ideology) is not a large enough container to hold
the Good Men Project.
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Men’s Stories in Context – Why Feminism Belongs at The Good Men Project
Joanna Schroeder believes that stories matter, but without analysis, the conversation is stunted.
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Why Men Can’t Be Feminists
Shawn Maxam explains how power dynamics and issues of privilege can distract us from the real conversations men need to be having.
The Round Table is a beautiful thing….we don’t have to all agree but we can at least sit down and discuss our views…we can agree to disagree….and sit and drink and try to be civil to each other…. Men and Feminism…what a great topic! This site is getting better and better…Thank you, Mark, Julie, Justin, Mark, Noah, Lisa, Joanna, and Hugo! I am struggling to understand the men in my life better….and it is a challenge! My karate sensei is going through the crisis of all crises right now and I sit on the sidelines watching him trying to figure… Read more »
“Erstwhile” Tom Matlack? What happened to him?
The way I look at feminism and men’s issues is that they are both separate lines that go in the same direction (gender equality) and occasionally intersect. While not all our issues will be the same, that doesn’t mean we can’t involve each other in those discussions. I would say men couldn’t be feminists ;I think a better term for men would be allies like in the gay right’s movement.
Quite frankly, I don’t feel fully comfortable debating male issues with feminists until they have identified which version of feminism they come from. I find it a complete waste of time to debate with some feminists, but others I enjoy talking to. Some will flat out refuse to acknowledge male issues, minimize it, or treat it as if it’s such a small issue that women’s issues is more important, hell some will even insult it with the “whataboutthemenz” insults and acting like misandry doesn’t exist. Quite a few feminists I’ve seen are actually bigoted, especially to the MRA crowd (same… Read more »
I agree Archy. My mom was at the forefront of the original feminist movement. She is fully in support of what I am doing here and would not recognize one bit the feminism espoused by Hugo et al.
Yep, I’ve even heard a few older feminists who feel there is a problem with some or much of feminism today. It feels like at times it goes a bit too far, but personally I find the entire movement so utterly confusing, I support one part but dislike another part and in stating that I am wondering when I’ll cop the woman-hater line. Hi 5 to your mum for her work, and hi 5 to you for giving us this space to talk. It’s the ONLY place I know of that I can speak of male issues and hear a… Read more »
@Tom … Great to hear that about your mom. I think it was you that had mentioned in some article/response somewhere that she saw men’s issues as more personal individual issue then men in general? Sorry if I’m confusing you with someone else. @Archy .. curiosity as to why you said “Egalitarian feminism” at all. Isn’t “feminism” within itself categorizing humans which isn’t at all what I see egalitarianism as. I’m still confused about this “feminist” title that so many want to hold on to? As you said Archy, you don’t feel comfortable debating with feminists “until they have identified… Read more »
ht tp://goodmenproject.com/comment-of-the-day/dear-egalitarian-feminists/
This explains it more, to me I have seen multiple forms of feminism and they don’t all follow a similar path except women’s rights is still common to all.
@Archy … Thank you for the link. I read through the responses but still struggle with understanding how an egalitarian can relate to or label him/herself as being a feminist. According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, the term has two distinct definitions in modern English. It is defined either as a political doctrine that all people should be treated as equals and have the same political, economic, social, and civil rights]or as a social philosophy advocating the removal of economic inequalities among people or the decentralization of power….. so where does a connection to feminism come into play? Are you any… Read more »
Good points, both of you. The key distinction, I think, is that feminism is about and for women. Discussion of men’s issues is, therefore, not a part of that; it’s a separate discussion. And having that discussion does not mean that women’s issues are unimportant or or trivial or dismissed; it just means they’re not the current topic of conversation.
Yup Copyleft. Agreed.
Can feminism and women bring something to the table when it comes to helping men? Yes. But are they some necessary and crucial part of helping men? No. I think one thing that may have people thinking this is because of a leading thought that without women and feminism men will be trapped in some void of anti-woman sentiment and thus never actually improve in any meaningful way (as in the only thing men need to do in the way of improvement is to work on how men treat women). While there is some anti-woman sentiment that needs to be… Read more »
What always gets me about the feminist mindset is that men cannot POSSIBLY figure out how to treat women well without being told. They forget that we have families with women in them that we care deeply about, and strive for their happiness of our own volition.
What you’re describing is not “the feminist mindset,” by the way.
No its “a” feminist mindset.
It’s a mindset of some feminists.
Either way you cut it some of them share it and foster it and defend it.
Amen, this isn’t about feminism. This is about males stepping up to the plate and being good fathers, husbands and doing the “right thing” in general. This world would be a much better place if this were to happen. Feminism doesn’t promote “good men” per se but points out times where male based policies that oppress women and girls (correctly so). But feminism doesn’t care about male outcomes and often attacks male oriented views. For example, feminists don’t focus on the number of young men dropping out of school, which is a major issue for us. The feminists I’ve encountered… Read more »
Agreed Ben. Said another way let’s not take pleasure in the END of men let’s make it a new and better beginning.
It is also about men being given the chance to be good fathers.