Before DINKs, there were simply couples who chose not to have children. But labels love the spotlight, and “DINK” (dual income, no kids) is basking in it.
DINKs — Dual Income, No Kids
Definition
- DINK refers to dual-income couples without children living in the same household.
- This type of household is becoming more common, accounting for 43% of US households in 2022, up 7% over the past decade.
CNBC recently released a short documentary on the life of a DINK couple. And it has caused a firestorm on social media. There are countless TikTok videos from DINK influencers who many believe are bragging about what they can afford all because they don’t have kids.
Reasons for not having children
But wait, isn’t the choice to have children deeply personal? To have or not to have kids, is the same as the decision to stay single or be married.
It is personal.
As a gay man who is in his 50s, and as someone who struggled with his sexuality in his early life, I did at one point think about having kids, either by siring it with a woman or by adoption.
None of that happened.
I could have been a great parent or not. As someone who has mental health issues, I was also afraid of passing it on to my child.
Fear.
But it never crossed my mind about the monetary cost of raising a child.
And now that I have two fur babies with my partner who has become the main breadwinner, I can understand the choices being made by couples today who would rather be childless, than be burdened by the cost of providing the “best life for a child.”
The difference today? Sharing choices online. When a subset of people who are on social media play the role of lifestyle influencers — the choices they make in their own lives are subject to public discourse and debate, and their voices, lifestyles, and choices can impact the lives of their fans and followers.
But should it stop them from speaking their truth on social media?
Financial challenges — Kids as an Extra Bill
- Over 25% said they can’t financially support a child currently
- Full cost to raise a child to age 18 is over $310,000 (not including college)
- Paying off student loans from when they were younger
Benefits of Being Child-Free
- Save on childcare costs
- More disposable income for fun, travel, hobbies, home remodeling
- Greater flexibility with their time
- More money to save and invest earlier, allowing compound growth
- Median net worth of childless adults over 55 is $153,900 versus $130,400 for parents
- Can afford larger downpayments on homes
- Less financial reliance on family as they age
Challenges
- Judgement from family for not having children
- Harder to make friends
- More requests to care for aging parents financially and time-wise
Advice for DINKs
- Prioritize saving and set clear financial goals
- Budget disposable income for fun along with investments
- Make sure you and your partner align on not having kids
- Still need to plan carefully for retirement future
The DINK Lifestyle
The problem with labels is that they create a world that becomes a target of scrutiny or politics.
Childless? For whatever reason, it shouldn’t matter.
Women without a male partner who becomes pregnant have as much rights as women with a male partner who becomes pregnant. Couples or individuals who adopt are as much of a parent as biological parents.
It is all about breaking free from labels and embracing your own path.
What are DINKs?
- Point: DINK stands for “dual income, no kids”
- Explanation: It refers to couples who both work and earn an income but have chosen not to have children
- Evidence: Accounts for 43% of US households in 2022, up 7% in past decade
- Link: This type of household is becoming increasingly common
And yes, with more money comes freedom.
A list of celebrities who chose not to have children in numerous interviews had given valid reasons. Most of them wouldn’t have become the celebrity as we know them if they had kids, Dolly Parton said it best:
Reasons for the Rise of DINKs
- Point: More couples are intentionally deciding against having children
- Explanation: Due to financial challenges or desire for lifestyle flexibility
- Evidence: Only 25% of Americans surveyed are sure they want kids
- Link: Cultural shifts and economic factors driving this trend
Are people afraid, that fear is valid.
Are people afraid to commit, with everything happening in the world, can you blame any young couple why would they choose not to have kids?
And financial independence no matter how others view it as being selfish is a valid reason but it isn’t for everybody.
People who choose to have kids regardless of their finances should also not get hate for their choices.
Not all kids need a new iPhone every year to be happy, some would be happy regardless of what they have as a family, and some families wouldn’t be happy despite their wealth.
And none of us can predict the future with regards to our children.
Financial Benefits of the DINK Life
In the documentary it is apparent that the DINK couple has more disposable income to pursue hobbies and activities that make them happy together as a couple or as individuals.
Something that many from my generation may have difficulty understanding that to each is own.
Today, it is not too uncommon to see married couples living in separate bedroom or even separate houses.
Not every couple need to live their lives according to someone else’s set of rules.
Significant Savings on Child-Related Costs
- Point: DINKs avoid large expenses associated with raising kids
- Explanation: Includes childcare, food, clothing, activities, college savings
- Evidence: Estimated to cost over $310k to raise a child to age 18
- Link: Frees up income for other goals like travel and retirement
Compounding Growth Through Earlier Investing
- Point: DINKs can invest surplus income earlier in life
- Explanation: Without expenses of childrearing, extra money can be invested
- Evidence: DINKs have higher net worth at retirement age than parents
- Link: Early and consistent investing leads to exponential growth
Lifestyle Advantages of Not Having Kids
In these TikTok videos that common theme is that these DINK couples can do anything, like travel, eat wherever they want, buy the grocery that they want.
Flexibility and Free Time
- Point: No childcare responsibilities gives DINKs more freedom
- Explanation: Can pursue hobbies, travel, focus on their relationship
- Evidence: 75% of DINKs say they have more disposable income
- Link: Lifestyle possible because not obligated to kids’ schedules
Stronger Marriages and Social Circles
- Point: DINKs may have more satisfying marriages
- Explanation: More quality time together and shared experiences
- Evidence: Lower divorce rates seen in couples without kids
- Link: Also need to nurture friendships as alternate support system
Again, it may not be true for all DINK couples, but without financial issues it is one less of a problem that married couples face.
It is easier when money isn’t an issue to travel or do things together, thus creating a more stable social bond between them.
Potential Drawbacks of the DINK Life
Judgment and Pressure from Family/Society
- Point: Choosing not to have kids goes against societal norms
- Explanation: Can face questions and criticism about decision
- Evidence: DINKs report feeling judged for not having children
- Link: Decision can be isolating if not accepted by loved ones
Yes, it can be true but should it matter?
As long as you are happy, you can create your own reality as a couple. The only opinion that matters are the ones coming from yourself and your spouse.
But, it can affect your relationships with friends and family, who have expectations from you, aside from misplaced good intentions, many still have a single definition of what a marriage should look like and we are not even talking about gender.
And anyone who is an adult should be able to decide for themselves what kind of marriage, relationship, or life they should live without the pressures of societal standards that may not work anymore to some people
Increased Caregiving Responsibility for Aging Parents
- Point: DINKs may need to provide more elderly parent care
- Explanation: Perceived as having more available time and money
- Evidence: Over 50% of caregivers for aging adults are non-parents
- Link: With longer lifespans, this is a growing issue to address
Yes, anyone without kids should be the one taking care of their parents, and whose opinion this comes from, from your siblings who have kids.
One should never be pressured to take care of their loved ones, especially their parents it should be a decision that should be left alone for you to process when that time comes.
And who knows your parent may even outlive you.
Final words
Evaluating if the DINK Lifestyle Aligns with Your Goals
- Point: The DINK path has tradeoffs to weigh carefully
- Explanation: Assess personal values and temperament regarding kids, career, relationships, caregiving, and retirement vision
- Evidence: Over 50% of DINKs express happiness with their choice
- Link: An informed choice brings the most life satisfaction long-term
Again, this not because it is trending that you should jump onto the trend and without any serious thought become a DINK.
While financial freedom is alone a great incentive to consider, cliche as it seems, money isn’t everything, but it is a lot.
What you see on social media isn’t the whole story. A happy video of a DINK couple could appear to have everything but do they?
In the end, you choose your own path to happiness and choosing not to have kids is what you think would make you happy or live your best life. No amount of societal pressure or opinions from strangers should make you reconsider your decision not to have kids.
But maybe for the social media influencers who espouse the lifestyle of DINKs, temper it down a bit, not because it works for you it should work for everyone.
If you are a DINK you must not feel any shame, and if you are a parent neither should you.
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This post was previously published on body-mind-soul.
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Photo credit: iStock