The Way We Do Anything

The way we do anything is the way we do everything.

When I first heard this phrase 17 years ago, it took a few moments to really sink in.  I thought to myself: that makes no sense. And then it hit me.

We aren’t split, we’re whole. We can’t drop the ball in one area of life and expect the other areas to function smoothly.

When I procrastinate at work, then get myself into a frenzy to complete a project, I’m exhausted.  I have nothing to give the ones I love, much less even myself.  I become out of balance and return home crabby and testy.

The habits we practice in one area of life, become our life.

Just like we become the 5 people we hang out with most in life, the way we operate on a daily basis is our life.

I’ve been practicing and teaching Feng Shui for over 17 years now, and can walk into a home or business and read the life of the inhabitants like the back of my hand.  It spooks me at times, but I’m usually accurate, the way we do anything is the way we do everything.  

Let’s pretend I’m in your home right now.  Take a moment and open your closet.

Are there a bunch of clothes in there you never wear, but continue to hold on to,  just in case?   

If so, I’m betting there are people in your life that don’t match who you are or who you really want to be, yet you hold on to them anyways in fear of standing alone.

If that example doesn’t fit, how about this?  I’m betting there is a job you’re holding on to that you don’t love, but you’re settling for what is, not what you want to be.

Do you see what I mean?  The energy is the same.  When we hold on to things just in case, we’re buying into poverty consciousness.  We’re not trusting that what we need, or who we’ll want, will be there if we let go of what’s no longer working.

Now let’s think about an extra painful topic for many people.  How is money flowing at the moment?  When it’s seemingly slow, chances are we’re slow paying our bills, holding back on settling debts, and dragging our feet in general around our money responsibilities.  When we slow the flow in one area, it’s going to dam up all areas.

Perhaps take a peek at the area behind your car seat.  Is it filled with mail, receipts and left over lunch bags?  When we drive around with a bunch of stuff that we know needs to be dealt with, it drains our energy.  When we open the car door and immediately groan, it’s going to affect our mood.  You see, if you’re not dealing with little things – opening mail, filing receipts, or even throwing away daily garbage, chances are you’re not dealing with other little things in your life like returning calls promptly, volleying back emails, and following up on your to-do lists.

Let’s face it, none of us are perfect; but the little ways we drop the ball in life are going to add up and affect other areas.

Take a moment and reflect upon your primary relationship, or if you’re single, your last significant other.  What was their top complaint about you?  Did they complain you started the relationship present and loving, but dribbled out like a flickering flame in your efforts?  Now think about how you handle other projects in your life.  Do you start out excited and passionate, but lose interest when you’re bored or the going gets tough?

If I could, I’d insert the sound of crickets here.

I know.  It’s painful to look at.

But… it’s true.  The way we do anything is the way we do everything.

Here’s the good news: there’s a silver lining to all of this:  This little law of life, works in our favor too.  When we make tiny changes in one area of life, we affect other areas like the wings of a butterfly starting a tsunami on the other side of the world.

We can’t help but affect our life in big ways when we start to make little changes.

One of the craziest of exercises I have the participants in my 40 day reboot program do is to spend 30 minutes cleaning their toilet.  Stay with me here, I promise this works.

I want you to walk into your bathroom and take a look at your loo.  Open the lid and go where no woman wants to go and no man acknowledges is actually there: the rim of the toilet.  Disgusting isn’t it?  I don’t care how clean you are, that area of your toilet is going to be icky.

Next, sit down on a towel (you’re going to be there a while) with all of your cleaning supplies nearby and begin.  Set a timer for 30 minutes and clean that toilet from top to bottom.  Clean the area behind the toilet on the floor, clean the bolts that hold it down, clean the outside of the bowl, the seat, the back, the top and the inside of the toilet bowl.  Scrub every last inch and all the crevices that are hard to reach.  Use an old toothbrush if you have to, but get everything as clean as you would if you had to eat your next meal off that toilet.

If you’re still with me here, I want you to leave the room, wash your hands and have yourself something to eat and drink.  Then go back into that bathroom and feel the energy shift.  Chances are, you’re going to want to attack the bathtub, shower and sink with the same vigor after feeling the shift.

And here’s the magic part:  something in your life will change. People in my program have suddenly received money, gotten good news, found something thought to be lost, or received something new.

Not up for cleaning?

Spend an hour this afternoon or evening and complete 3 things you’ve been putting off.  Clean out that drawer, make that call, send that email, or fix a situation with a clear conversation or apology.

When we experience the freedom that arrives and the burst of energy that returns, we no longer question the effect every area of our life has on all aspects of our happiness.  We are not divided beings.  We’re whole and we’re all connected.

When we finally realize that the way we do anything is the way we do everything, we have the power to change every aspect of our life.
***

What’s Next at The Good Men Project? Talk with others. Improve your relationships. Join our Love, Sex, Etc. Social Interest Group